


head and heart on fire

by MyNameWasAlreadyTaken3117



Category: Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Politics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Light Angst, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28406088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyNameWasAlreadyTaken3117/pseuds/MyNameWasAlreadyTaken3117
Summary: Scylla and Raelle met in Europe when they were both pretending to be other people.Scylla’s anger was blinding and leading her down a dark path, and Raelle was escaping from her family’s dark past and secrets. For three years they were happy but one day Scylla left with no explanation.Years later they meet again, brought together by Raelle’s aunt latest politicalalliance to Scylla’s father.But not all is what is seems in Sarah Alder latest poltical plot. They will have to worktogether if they want to keep their loved ones safe.***UPDATES EVERY FRIDAY.
Relationships: Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn
Comments: 23
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new year, a new try :)  
> I'm posting this one after many internal debates and two people who asked for it lol, I'm also cleaning up my projects board and it was either posting it again or cutting it off and I love this story to much for that. So here's the thing you guys, I'm on a break so I'm not really writing so I'm going to be posting one per week until I have to get to writing again and hopefully all will be well. It is 2021 after all, so fingers crossed.  
> I loved this story the first time around, and I hope you guys will love it too all over again, also its edited so its not exactly the same as it was the first time around 
> 
> enjoy :)

She parks her car outside the address Anacostia sent her, and finds the woman in question waiting for her on the porch.

“You are late”

Raelle shrugs, putting on her jacket and closing the car door with more strength than necessary “It's just lunch. I’m sure Aunt Sarah can survive lunch with a potential ally by herself”

Anacostia rolls her eyes, like she always does when Raelle puts up an attitude “We both know that’s not truth”

“Whatever, Ana. Who’s this guy anyways?”

“I remember very clearly sending you an email with his profile for you to read on the plane”

“Got distracted. Are we goin’ inside? Or is lunch bein’ held outdoors?” the idea makes her laugh, her aunt Sarah would absolutely hate that. She walks past Anacostia to the door, but a strong hand stops her escape.

“Watch the drawl, you know she hates it” Anacostia pushes her two steps back “His name is Peter Ramshorn, senator for the state of New York. Before politics he was a poli-sci professor at Stony Brook. His wife Martha is Swedish, a professor too, currently teaches sociology at Georgetown. They have one daughter, she's lived overseas for a while but moved back home three years ago. She is a lawyer, very low profile-"

Raelle sighs, massaging the bridge of her nose as she cuts her off " 'kay. Peter, senator, used to be a professor like his wife, a sociologist, sweedish. The daughter, she hot?"

"Raelle"

She takes pity on Anacostia and decides to get serious " 'twas a joke, Ana. I'll behave just for ya. Promise"

Anacostia tries to hide her amusement, but Raelle knows her well enough.

"Let's go inside"

" 'kay"

“Drawl” Anacostia reminds her as she opens the door and steps inside. 

“ ‘s part of my charm, Ana”

The house is nice, seems lived in unlike all the houses she’s existed in since her parents died and she went to live with her intense aunt Sarah. And the one thing she's learned since is that Sarah Alder has a thing for sucking the life out of everything that looks slightly joyful.

But the Ramshorns house is nice. It reminds her of her Cession home where she grew up. There’s pictures hanging on the walls, coats and rainboots by the door. She spots several newspapers open over the kitchen table as they pass by, next to a pair of abandoned coffee cups.

When she was a kid, her parents used to wake up before her in the morning and she’d always find them in the kitchen sharing the newspaper over breakfast. Her pop would sit her on his lap and read the comic strips with her while her mother prepared her breakfast. He had a tendency to burn anything that wasn’t cereal, and she insisted Raelle needed to have something more nutritious than that.

Anacostia calls her name and a second later a huge dog comes barreling into her. She’s thankful for the distraction, can’t find it in herself to be mad at this huge ball of energy that is now sitting in front of her.

She used to have a dog, it looked a lot like this one too. 

They adopted it shortly after they moved in together. She tries not to think about it anymore, but sometimes it slips her mind without her permission, like right now. When this adorable dog brings it all back up.

Still, she shakes her head and kneels to pet the dog that seems delighted to make her acquaintance.

"Hey, pretty. What's your name?" the dog licks her face, coming to sit on her lap, wiggling his tail happily “You’re a cutie, aren’ ya?”

"Oh, hey" a woman with curly brown hair and glasses stops by the door. She looks in shock at the scene playing right in front of her, before reacting a minute later and coming to her aid "I'm so sorry. She's not like that, I swear-"

Raelle accepts the hand that's been offered, manages to see Anacostia scurrying away, and smiles at the woman trying to appear more like the person Alder probably makes her sound like.

" 'ts okay, ma'am, I-" she chastises herself for her slip, and straightens her posture shaking the dog hair out of her clothes “You have a very friendly dog"

The woman smiles, appearing relieved Raelle has not immediately started shouting for her lawyer or threatening with lawsuits. It's a guess, she’s not really aware of what people think of when they think of the Alders.

"She's a good girl alright, I'm Martha and you must be Raelle, right? General Alder's daughter"

"Adoptive daughter" she clarifies. It's second nature by now, especially because Aunt Sarah hates it. But everyone knows the story. 

Martha Ramshorn knows it, because she turns her eyes away and Raelle can read the pity without having to actually see it.

That’s the reaction she always gets when people realize who she is, or someone mentions death parents and inescapably eyes will turn to her like she's some kind of world expert.

Yeah the Spree killed her parents, it sucked. Move on.

She never says that. Aunt Sarah would lose her mind if she did, but sometimes she would really like for people to shut the fuck up. 

"So, uh, what's for lunch?" she hopes the woman takes her offer to change the subject and not try to give her some half-assed speech about how brave or strong she is.

Martha smiles widely, seems happy to move on "My husband wanted to make tacos, but I managed to convince him of something more conservative"

"In my experience, the blander the food the more she’ll enjoy it" she half whispers, grinning.

Martha chuckles, clearly amused by her words "You're a troublemaker, aren't you? C'mon I'll take you with the others"

Raelle follows the woman around the house. Martha Ramshorn seems friendly and if her husband is anything like maybe this lunch won't be a complete bust.

But also if her husband is anything like her, then he's probably not the right fit for being Aunt Sarah’s vice president. If she wins, that is.

But of course she’ll win. They are Alders, of course Aunt Sarah will win. After all the Alder line and the High Atlantics are the only witches America can deal with. Watered down, and human-like, the version of a witch that humans want to see, the only ones they can handle. And Raelle is so tired of all that bullshit.

Is why she left as soon as she could. Always knowing she’d come back, but needing those years away. A breath of fresh air and freedom. And she was free, she was happy when she was away. When she was with her.

Fuck. She did it again. Why’s her brain playing games with her today of all days?

Thankfully Martha Ramshorn pushes open a door and Raelle comes face to face with her Aunt Sarah and her stern expression. Yeah, that always manages to clear her mind.

“You are late” is the only thing she says. She uses that monotone tone that doesn’t let anything show.

But Raelle knows the woman well enough to know she’s pissed. She’s seen and heard enough to know it, and sometimes the memories still haunt her.

“Yes, I apologize. My plane got delayed and I drove here straight from the airport” she knows her attempt is futile as soon as she sits next to her and feels how the air thickens around her, making it hard to breathe. She turns to her aunt, lifting an eyebrow in question despite the discomfort. 

She’s such an asshole sometimes.

As good as she is and intimidating people, Raelle has known her all her life, has been subjected to all this too many times before and she discovered very quickly that facing aunt Sarah’s anger with her own always made for an interesting mix. It's why they got along so well. Raelle’s defiance had made Sarah Alder change strategies for the first time in centuries, and her aunt had learned to cherish her for it. 

In her own special way.

“It's good that you are here now,” she says simply.

And if it's easier for Raelle to breathe suddenly, none of them will say a thing.

“This is Peter” aunt Sarah keeps talking as if nothing has happened between them, turning her attention to the man across from them on the table.

The man, Peter smiles at her kindly. She’s taken aback by his familiar blue eyes and she takes a second too long to answer his greeting. If he doesn’t notice it, aunt Sarah certainly did.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Peter” she says quickly, “Thanks for having us over, and again sorry for the delay”

Peter Ramshorn smiles easily, like this isn’t his first lunch with the most powerful witch line in America. Like this is how he spends every sunday.

It's refreshing. Peter Ramshorn and this space that he inhabits.

Raelle is puzzled by the man in front of her, she feels like she should know who he is. There’s something so familiar about him, and it's not just the eyes. It's the mischievous smile he gives her when he answers, shaking his head a little in an affable manner.

“Don’t worry, we’re still waiting for my daughter” he adjusts his glasses and sits back, taking a sip of his drink “That one...she’s never been on time to anything in her life”

She can’t quite say why, but it feels like she’s walking into something. 

It's probably the jetlag.

She’s been awake for 26 hours now, she’ll get this lunch over with and drive home to take the world's longest nap.

Before Raelle can get herself any deeper into a state of denial about the Ramshorns as a whole, the dog begins running around the house, his paws kicking at the front door. 

Martha stands, a wide smile in her face as she walks out of the room.

“Scylla’s always making big entrances” Peter mentions casually.

Raelle really, really hopes she heard that wrong “What did you just say?”

Next to Peter, Anacostia looks at her aunt, and then back at her with a frown. It's very possible she shouted, she’s not the most self aware when jet lagged.

Fuck. Aunt Sarah is going to kill her.

  
  


“Scylla, is my daughter’s name” Peter offers, and her expression must confuse him ‘cause he keeps explaining “I know it’s kind of a weird-”

Raelle tunes him off. 

How big are the odds this Scylla and her Scylla are one and the same? Because all Raelle wanted from today was a free lunch and a nap, to not have to face her aunt’s wrath. 

But she’s never had the best luck. 

Peter has the eyes, the mischievous smile. Martha has that calm air about her that makes Raelle feel comfortable. Is too much to be a simple coincidence. 

She makes peace with the fact that her ex is going to walk through the door any minute now, just like Raelle walked into that bar five years ago and locked eyes with the pretty girl with the cocky smile and trouble written all over her. 

Her mind goes straight into the end. It’s instinct at this point, she loved Scylla, but she can’t get over how it ended. 

Scylla gone without a clue, or a goodbye. 

No, she took the dog, trashed her flat and disappeared. 

Wait, the dog.

Holy shit.

“Medea”

“The...dog?” Peter asks quietly. He looks between Anacostia and aunt Sarah, like he’s trying to figure out what the shit is going on.

Raelle feels exactly the same way. Medea the dog, Scylla the daughter. Fucking hell.

And because the universe loves its ironies, that is when Scylla walks in. She's laughing at something her mother said and Raelle never thought a smile could cause her so much pain. And yet that’s all she feels.

As if sensing her inner struggle, Scylla’s eyes fall on her and her laughter stops abruptly.

Staring back into those deep blue eyes feels a lot like coming home, except her home is on fire and everything hurts. 

But from the first kiss, the first touch Raelle always knew Scylla was inevitably going to break her heart. 

She was trouble and Raelle always knew it. She walked into that fully aware of the flames. 

Scylla never needed to voice the fact that she had secrets, it was given. She had a job, like Raelle had classes and then she had “meetings” at odd hours, last minute trips across Europe’s capitals and Raelle never asked but always wondered what the fuck was her job about.

It's why she never wondered why Scylla disappeared. 

No, she went straight to anger.

She picked the pieces of herself like she picked the scattered items on the floor of the apartment they had shared. She moved on, but looking at it now, maybe she didn’t let go. Maybe she never stopped hurting, cause just like she did back then, staring at Scylla’s shocked expression all she wants to do is make her hurt like she did all those years ago.

She wants retribution.

"You stole my fuckin’ dog” is how her brain decided to break the silence that fell in the room since Scylla walked in.

Scylla looks just affected as Raelle feels though. She blinks quickly like she’s trying to convince herself she’s seeing things.

The silence is deafening and Scylla doesn’t look like she’s going to speak soon. Raelle feels all the eyes on her, it's...sobering. She knows by now that if aunt Sarah was pissed five minutes ago she’s way past that now and Raelle is going to have to hear it.

So if she’s digging her own fucking grave, she going to do it right.

“And trashed my fuckin’ flat”

“Please stop saying fuck” aunt Sarah takes her arm and pushes her back down to her chair. So apparently she stood up at some point. But her aunt is not done yet “Go home, Raelle. Take a nap. I’ll finish here and pick Khalida from her sleepover. We will talk about this”

Another thing she hates about her dear Aunt Sarah is when she’s mad but has to keep appearances. She speaks directly into her mind. It's the most violent invasion of privacy she’s ever experienced, but she can’t ever block her away.

Raelle stands up again, shaking her aunt's arm as she goes and walks out of the room. There will be hell to pay later, right now she needs to get the fuck out of here.

She’d say something to the Ramshorns, but what's there to say? She just accused her daughter of two different felonies. It isn’t a lie, but she’s most likely not their favourite person at the moment.

She’s barely out of the house when she hears her name been called. She knows that voice. Sometimes she hears it in her dreams, so she pushes forward determined not to turn around.

“I’m sorry I took Medea” Scylla seems honest, and it gets Raelle to stop her angry march across the garden. Still she doesn’t turn around “I just...I wanted something to remember you”

That does it. She turns around, feeling the anger burn her down from the inside out “And what? You never heard of pictures? For fucks sake, you took our dog and left. You didn’ even say goodbye, Scylla. What the hell?”

That’s the real question. What happened?

But she doesn’t let Scylla answer. She’s quick to turn around and walk to her car.

Scylla follows after her, she’s never been anything if not incredibly stubborn.

“I wasn’t the only with secrets” Scylla stands in front her car, and it's not like Raelle can’t start the car and drive away, but for some reason she waits to hear what she has to say “I never took you for a hypocrite, but then again, I never took you for an Alder either”

For that she doesn’t have an answer. Because maybe they both made mistakes, but it doesn’t feel equal. Is not the same. If Scylla had learned the truth of her family Raelle wouldn’t have taken the dog and disappeared, she would’ve stayed and tried to fix things.

But maybe that’s the Alder in her, or the human in her.

She looks away from Scylla and starts the car. Let the silence be her answer. She doesn’t owe Scylla Ramshorn anything.

She drives to a park near her family house and tries not to think. But the park is simply not that distracting. She's still reeling from everything.

Ever since she was a kid there were times when she'd get overwhelmed. Sometimes it was school, or the mean kids on the playground.

_ "You have powerful work in you, girl" _ her mom would say, and kiss her forehead  _ "Not everyone will understand, not everyone will accept that part of you. But never hide it. It's what makes you special, and I love you" _

And as she grew up, the overwhelming feeling grew with her. It didn't help that her problems and worries grew bigger too. But she didn't listen to her mama's advice and hid it.

It was easier to push it down. Especially when she was hurting so much. She would have done no good to no one like that.

Aunt Sarah was always hard on her. But she alway allowed this one thing to slip.

Still she became an Alder the moment she first walked through the halls of the house so many others Alders before her had called home. She might as well have given her soul too, the moment she learned the family secrets.

It all burdened her. Added to the storm that had never stopped raging inside her heart. That's why she ran away.

She had left with a note while her aunt was away. She knew she could be reached, aunt Sarah could always slip into her mind and compel her to come home. But she never did, Raelle was of no use to her without her magic and ever since her parents died she had blocked that part of herself. 

It became a rumor among High Atlantics that Raelle had been born without the gift, or even worse that she had it and lost it. 

She had heard it from Abigail first, as a passing comment on her first days on boarding school. Later when they became friends, mostly thanks to Tally’s interference, Raelle got the whole story. The rumor was fueled by the reveal that she had a human father, and it annoyed aunt Sarah so much that she had let it roll. 

Scylla had been different from the start. Despite the red flags all over her, Raelle had been blinde to anything that wasn’t her. So much that she had broken her vow and let her see her magic. Scylla has shown her hers in exchange. It had brought them closer then, but now Raelle can’t help to think if that was ever true. Everything in the last few hours is making her see their relationship in a brand new light.

The end especially. She never allowed herself to see any farther than the missing dog and the trashed apartment. But now...now she has too. Scylla is there somewhere, holding the answers to all the questions she’s been stopping herself from making all this years. 

How many times did Scylla lie about where she was? And for how long did she know before leaving? Why did she trash her flat? Was she searching for something? Did she find it? 

Who is she really?

Unable to find any answers herself and unwilling to dig any deeper today, she drags herself home.

Or the home her aunt meant when she said “We’ll talk later”. 

The house is just as imposing as it's always been, it has Sarah Alder written everywhere and Raelle has always hated that it feels like home despite it.

She locks herself in her room with a book and waits. She knows aunt Sarah will come when she’s done letting her simmer in her regrets. 

As predicted Aunt Sarah arrives at the house just after three. Raelle is relieved when she hears Khalida's voice echo around the haunting hallways of the house.

Surely her aunt won’t cause a scene with Kahlida in the house. So she’s going for the subtle approach. Raelle readies herself for the imminent attack. The knock on the door startles her, and she puts her book down to opens the door.

“Hey” she greets the two. Khalida is decidedly more happy to see her than aunt is. She gets enveloped in a hug before she can speak.

"We should catch up, kid" she ruffles her hair knowing she'll hate it.

Khalida retaliates by slapping her hands away with more force than necessary "We could watch tv. There's a new documentary about witch tongue I've been wanting to see. It's made by humans, but we could laugh about the inaccuracies"

And she can hide from aunt Sarah. Sounds like an excellent plan.

"Let's do that then"

Khalida smiles, just barely containing her excitement and runs away, probably towards her room.

And now she’s alone to face her aunt.

"Don’t think I don’t see you. Keep avoiding me all you want, Raelle. We will talk about this"

She knows it's true. Aunt Sarah can always get inside her head and give her a talk she can't avoid. But she's giving her a choice in the matter. It's the little mercies that count.

"I'm not avoiding you. I just need to-.I'll come find you in a bit"

"Very well. I look forward to it"

With that she turns around and leaves. Raelle let’s out a breath as she watches her walk away before making her way to Khalida’s room. 

She’s given a whole list of instructions as soon as she knocks on the door, and Raelle laughs and goes to the kitchen to make popcorn, following the instructions and waiting for the kid to show up.

Aunt Sarah doesn’t show up for the remainder of the day, and Raelle is happy to let Khalida distract her.

The younger witch came to their lives three years ago when Raelle still lived in England, but they had quickly bonded over being orphans under the care of the ever fun former general and star politician Vivian Alder.

It had made everything better in their little family. It had also made everything harder cause she had always called her aunt by her actual name and not...well her other name. But aunt Sarah had been imperative that she wasn’t allowed to call her Sarah in front of Khalida and had used her scary voice so Raelle didn’t fight her.

But Khalida fits in, and Raelle would do anything for her. So much so that she used her magic to save her when she got sick, and aunt Sarah has not yet forgiven her for it.

The documentary they watch is a bust and they make fun of the people botching over the words and throw popcorn and then chips at the tv. That’s how aunt Sarah finds them, and she doesn’t seem all too happy with their behavior.

“You will clean that” she says, voice cold as ice “Have you had dinner?”

Raelle turns to face her aunt and points behind her at pizza box open over the pristine mahogany table between the couch and the tv “I got us pizza, I even saved you a slice”

Khalida snorts next to her, and hides her laughter on Raelle’s back.

Aunt Sarah shakes her head in disgust, “Khalida, clean that mess and then go to bed. You have school tomorrow. You” she points her finger straight at her “Come with me”

She rolls her eyes but gets up, knowing Khalida will follow. Aunt Sarah is in the kitchen pouring herself a glass of wine.

Raelle lifts an eyebrow in question. Her aunt shakes her head no and Raelle turns to find Khalida behind her, looking for a broom to clean the mess they've made.

"Goddess, Aunt Viv" she smirks as aunt Sarah looks disgusted by the nickname, like every single one Raelle has come up with before "You need to stop pickin' strays. Can you believe she threw popcorn at the tv?"

The young girl bumps into her as she passes and laughs as she scurries away.

Aunt Sarah rolls her eyes at the two of them, a sight that would have the nation in shock. She waits until Khalida is out of earshot and sips her wine.

"I would if their parents stopped dying"

"Guns out today then. Pass me the wine” she stretches her hands to receive the bottle.

"You're staying?" aunt Sarah asks, withholding the wine bottle as she waits for an answer.

"Sure"

“Khalida will be happy” her aunt says as she pours her wine in a glass “She has missed you”

"I have missed her too. I'll drive her to school tomorrow before headin’ out" she promises as she takes a sip of her drink. She’s not a fan, but she can recognize they always have the best wine here.

“So about today” she begins quietly “I’m sorry I-”

“We live in dangerous times you know?" aunt Sarah cuts her off, she looks troubled which makes Raelle worry. 

She doesn’t really know what to say to that "Even for Alders like us?"

"Your parents are proof of that" aunt Sarah points out.

Raelle looks down, "Right"

"I will always take care of you, Raelle" she takes a sip of her wine as if to think her words over. You and Khalida are my priorities. No matter what”

Okay, so now she’s worried “What is actually happenin’?”

Aunt Sarah shakes her head, trying to ease her. It doesn’t work.

“Tell me”

“I’m at a crossroads,” she admits, “I’m facing a hard decision. There was an assasination attempt on my life three days ago”

“What?”

Aunt Sarah waves it off like this is a daily occurrence “It’s what I meant with the whole dangerous times thing. There’s people outside my inner circle who know our secret. They know I’m on a tight spot with you being the last Alder, half human and no magic” she explains “I had Anacostia deal with some loose ends today, but I have a plan”

Raelle feels like there’s a lot to dig into in those few words her aunt said, but she chooses to go for the more pressing matter “What plan?”

“A scapegoat” she says simply, lifting her glass for a toast “If all goes well, the Ramshorns will be it. And we’ll be okay”

Raelle lifts her glass out of habit, and almost drops it when her brain catches on.

“What you mean-?”

Aunt Sarah puts a hand on her shoulder and smiles kindly “Do not worry, child. We’re Alders, we're made of forged iron, we don’t break. We will withstand the storm”

But at what cost? What does all this mean to Scylla?

And why does she care for her at all? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! If you did maybe leave a kudo and drop a comment, they make this author very happy and excited to keep writing :)  
> as always you can hit me up on tumblr @realbluedragon  
> Have a good day and a very good year!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here't the new chapter. This one is more heavily edited that the first one, i felt like it was messy half way through and I'm really happy with how it came out.   
> Hope you'll enjoy it. Have a good weekend!

She dreads the moment this lunch is over almost as much as she hates having to sit through this bullshit show with Vivian fucking Alder.

But it comes to an end soon enough. Alder seems to be in a hurry to leave, and her parents are relieved to be left alone again.

If only to ask the many questions she can see written across their faces.

When the final pleasantries are interchanged and Alder and her secretary leave, Scylla knows what's coming, so she decides to beat them to it with her own questions.

“So that was Vivian Alder” she points to the door the witch just walked through “What was it you told me this morning when you invited me ‘come over for lunch, honey, I’m sure the vice-president won’t be over with-”

"What was that?" her mom cuts her off, she’s never had time for Scylla’s bullshit “And don't try pretending you don't know what I'm talking about Scylla Ramhorn"

It's never good to joke around when her mom uses her full name. She looks to her father for help, and he looks between the two women in contemplation.

"You're on your own, Scyl,” he says after a long minute. He looks guilty, like he’s instantly regretting his words and he’s quick to explain “That was important for me, honey, and whatever that was between you and Vice President Alder's daughter could mess everything up. I just want to know what I'm getting into"

Her mom has finish calming down, she puts a hand over her shoulder "You know nothing you can say will change how much we love you"

She wishes she could believe that. But it's not true, she knows it. They would hate her if they really knew her. She joined the terrorist organization they always spoke so strongly against after all, she bought into their ideology to create chaos and terror, and she actively fought for those ideas.

They wouldn't recognize her if they could truly see her.

And the truth is Scylla is terrified. She needs them to love her despite the blood in her hands. Even if it's only because they don't know it's there.

"We sort of dated while I lived in England" she replies, trying to play it off even if all she wants to do is go home and cry in her bed "It ended...badly"

"Cause you stole Medea from her and ransacked her apartment?" her mom asks, and Scylla rolls her eyes, so much for believing in her.

"I didn't ransack her place and I didn't steal Medea” maybe she says the last part with less conviction than she should have let on because her mom lifts an eyebrow in question and she sighs “We adopted her together, okay? I just took her and left"

"So kidnap, then" her father adds, turning to his wife clearly about to try to convince her that it is somewhat less of a crime. Goddess she loves him for trying.

Her mom loves him as well, cause she shakes her head and stops trying to stop herself from smiling.

"You two are terrible" she says and turns fully to face her husband "Pete help me with the dishes"

"Need an extra hand?" Scylla offers, trying to placate her mom. Hopefully she will roll with it and-.

"No. You figure out how you're fixing things with the vice president's daughter" her mom uses that tone that leaves no room for discussion.

Scylla really thought it would stop working on her after she’d turn eighteen. It's been awhile since and it still works. It's awful.

"Her name is Raelle" she mutters under her breath.

And that is the first time she's said her name to someone who isn't Raelle herself. It feels real all of sudden, everything they lived. And how it all came crashing down.

Her dad waits for her mom to make the turn to the kitchen to turn her attention back to her “You loved that girl” he comments with a small smile “Why don’t we pretend you got an urgent call from work, and you can go home. I’ll talk with your mom. And you and I can get lunch tomorrow in that place you like and we don’t have to talk about it”

He really is the best. Especially when he’s willing to risk his neck for her.

“Mom will be mad” she whispers, but the smile they exchange is confirmation enough that they’re going for it.

“I've been married to your mom for almost thirty years, I think I can handle one night at the doghouse for my other favourite girl,” he promises and kisses her temple.

He’s pushing her out the door before she can come up with anymore stupid excuses.

“It’s terrible you have to go” he speaks loud enough that the neighbours might have heard him, and she laughs at his antics “But work is important, Scylla. I understand”

“Okay, okay. I think she’s heard you already” she waves him goodbye and walks to her car.

She catches sight of her mom’s exasperated expression from the kitchen window and waves. She rolls her eyes at her and Scylla laughs.

“Love you mom” she mouths, and her mother waves a foam filled hand at her and mouths “I love you” back.

Scylla opens the car door and Medea immediately jumps in. She’s such a good dog, today of all days she’s happy she took Medea with her.

The drive to her apartment is quick, no one has much to do on a sunday afternoon in the city. She feels good despite what happened over lunch. But it might take her all sunday to get over the feelings and the memories, the look of hurt on Raelle’s face.

She doesn’t make it that far though. As soon as she makes the turn from the stairs to her apartment she sees the woman who was with Alder standing in her door waiting for her. And she would happily walk away, turn around and spend how long it's needed in the park across the street until she sees the woman leave her building.

But Medea has other plans. She barks loudly, turning the woman’s attention to her.

Now there’s nowhere to run.

Excellent.

She might ship Medea to whatever the Alders call a home. A mausoleum, most likely.

“I was hoping we could talk,” the woman says as soon as Scylla is within earshot.

“I rather we didn’t” Scylla is quick to shut it down, or at least try to “Look I don’t mean to be rude, but this has been a long, tiring day. I don’t have the energy or the strength of mind right now to deal with this”

The woman nods, and the expression of annoyance in her face makes Scylla think she agrees “I won’t take much of your time. But we do need to get this out of the way before anything can move forward”

Cryptic. Sounds very Alder-ish.

“What does that mean?”

“Let me in and I’ll explain” the woman insists, but is again betrayed by her expression. It annoys Scylla how she doesn’t look as earnest as she’s trying to sound.

Scylla finds that to be interesting. This woman is either Alder’s secretary or her right hand, and as whichever she must wield an immense amount of power. But she looks burdened by it, like she’d rather be anywhere but at her door. That’s what ends up making her open the door and letting her in.

“I’ll make it short” the woman starts speaking as soon as the door closes behind them “I am Sargeant Anacostia Quartermaine, Vice President Alder’s right hand woman as you might have guessed from lunch today. I come to speak to you on her behalf, and that of her daughter”

Oh, so this is about Raelle.

“What about them?” she asks, trying to get to the bottom of this the quickest way possible.

“I know that you know Raelle has the gift” Anacostia goes straight to the point, thankfully “And I need to know you don’t intent to let anyone know”

“Why is it so important?” she asks instead of answering. Even though her intention was to get to the point this sounds important and she wants to know why “Who cares if everyone knows Raelle is a witch?”

Anacostia sighs, as if she too wanted this conversation to be over already. “What benefits the Alder benefits all of America. All the witches in America. And it has always been Raelle’s wish to keep that a secret. So I’m asking you to respect her wishes”

There’s so much to dig into that little speech, and it's killing Scylla that she both wants to ask and wants the woman to leave “Did you have to practice the speech? Cause you can’t possibly believe half the shit you just said”

She doesn’t get a straight answer, but she saw that coming. What she didn’t see coming was the tightness in her chest.

Anacostia is using work on her.

“Stay away from Raelle, and keep quiet. Your father gets what he wants and everyone is happy”

Anacostia speaks in a careful reassuring tone. An irony really, considering she’s withholding Scylla’s air.

It feels foreign on her, Scylla has known her for like an hour and she can’t tell.

Something’s off about all this. But she nods, because she actually enjoys breathing.

“I will take my leave now. But I have my eyes on you. Stay away”

With that Anacostia Quartermaine leaves her apartment. Scylla sits on the couch catching her breath. What the fuck just happened?

Medea sits on her lap and licks her hands, as if trying to apologize. Scylla smiles through the pain, the dog really is the one good thing to have come out of that relationship, and nothing yet has proven her otherwise.

There’s so much to go over. Starting with lunch, but clearly she has to analyze what the hell Anacostia Quartermaine was talking about when she came into her home and attacked her.

Her life really was easy before….

Before what, she has to ask herself.

Where should she draw the line?

When she left for Europe to escape being drafted by the Witch Army? When she met Raelle and fell madly and deeply in love with her so fast it scared her?

Or when she joined the Spree?

Maybe she should draw the line when the sleepless night started. When she realized she could feel in her chest the weight of the blade hidden away, and all the chances to use it she let slip past her because she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

She couldn't bring herself to hurt Raelle. Despite the lies and the betrayal she loved her.

And maybe that is the answer. Everything was easier when she didn't allow herself to feel anything that wasn't anger and hate for the humans who took, and took and didn't care about the damage and pain they were inflicting on others.

Loving Raelle made her vulnerable, but….

It made her happy too.

The more she thinks the harder it is to focus, to keep the darkness she remembers so clearly from showing its head again.

Scylla always had a bit of darkness about her, a need to fight for the lost causes.

The unfairness of the world always had a way to set her off. It angered her, and her anger was blind, like a furious storm. The Spree had seen that in her and weaponized it. They had used her to further their agenda of terror.

Raelle had seen her too, and hadn’t run scared like Scylla thought she would. No, she had taken one good look and where others saw anger she saw anguish and pain, a need to be understood. It comforted Scylla to know she was not alone, and that it was possible to feel all that she felt in a less violent and chaotic way.

She had started to think of leaving the Spree. Make a life with Raelle in England, live normal lives hiding their gift from everyone but themselves.

But then it came the revelation. Raelle was an Alder. It crushed her ‘cause Raelle was good, so effortlessly good it seemed. So kind too, and yet she was an Alder. She was her love yes, her greatest pain too and Scylla could not reconcile the two.

Sometimes she thinks it was all a trap. A set up. The bar, the change of music and the most beautiful girl just happens to walk in as the crowd opens.

But it makes no sense. Raelle had no business with her. And Scylla was a nobody. It was fate, she thinks sometimes and immediately discards such ideas from her mind.

It was only a casualty. She had just gotten to London, sent by the Spree to join a cell there, still far too low on the ranks to even account to anything more than a set of hands and vocal chords. She had the fire and the fury, but that was all until they gave her a purpose.

Scylla heard about the Spree all her life. She heard it from her parents mouth almost as much as she’d heard about the Alders. They took no sides, that one was another she heard a lot. Truth is they were hiding, and Scylla could never understand the why until she opened her history book in the second grade and read about the Salem Accords.

She had been so mad that day, but kept quiet while the teacher explained and then when she got home she dumped all her questions on her mom, who got a little red faced at seeing her small well mannered daughter losing her calm over this thing she had read in a school book.

She started hating the Alders since that day.

Who was that Sarah Alder, with her military uniform and serious expression looking at her from the page of her book, to decide that Scylla had to fight the wars of men? And who were those men that were so okay with letting her die so they could sit back and enjoy life? 

In time she learned they were hiding. A third option she hadn’t learned of before. Her family was hiding, pretending to be human to survive. She couldn’t wrap her mind around it and it angered her.

Growing up was like seeing the world in a clearer light everyday.

Her parents lived in fear of being discovered, and in doing so they allowed for others to keep dying. They thought they were protecting her, but the real world was still out there and people were still dying. Witches were dying, witches just like Scylla, just like her parents.

That is when she found her calling. The anger that had been building up since that history class in the second grade grew stronger over time and one day it would set the world aflame.

Reality hit her sophomore year, her childhood best friend Porter got into a fight with some older kids and when they hit him he didn’t fall. Scylla had waited to hear him hit the floor with a thud, broke some bone or something from the strenght of those stupid jocks, but what she heard instead was their grunts as the fell to the ground. The teachers had come after hearing the commotion and found him standing in the middle of a crowd of teenagers who had seen him blast the three jocks away.

She got her first look at the witch army a week later when they visited the school to talk to Porter. Her parents wouldn’t let her speak to him again, too scared that their friendship would put eyes on them.

_“The world is not fair, little one. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to, like hiding who we are” her mom had tried to make her feel better, but her words fell flat, void of any depth “But do not ever think that makes being what you are wrong”_

In the months that followed she saw with wide eyes how everyone took notice of Porter, she saw the hate in their eyes. The small town she had always felt a part of, her home and this is how they treated her kind. That could be her, walking Porter’s shoes, and her life after that day was different again.

Porter got beaten down thrice before his parents took him out of school. He was dead less than three years later, she heard the news from exile in London. She cried herself to sleep that night, ‘cause she had loved him like he was her brother, but because that could have been her too.

_“No matter what anyone says, being a witch is not a bad thing” her father had told her the day Porter had stopped by to say goodbye before leaving town with his family “People won’t always understand that, and we might have to hide, but we’re not ashamed. Never be ashamed of what you are. Be proud of the gift you have”_

Be proud but hide it. It was a very confusing idea, but in time Scylla would learn to appreciate the feeling for what it was, a memory from a time before, a past life.

A time before her own family was discovered. When it happened, it wasn’t fear she felt, it was certainty. It was not fair to live like this, it was not fair at all.

It had been a car accident her senior year of high school when they were driving back from a football game her dad had insisted they go to entertain themselves while her mom was out of town in a conference. He had used work to save them and the truck driver, and even though no one was injured they were discovered.

Scylla having to serve was what pushed her dad into politics. And she loves him for trying to make a change by following the rules, that’s just who he is, but she has always known it was futile.

When it came her time to say the words she was far away. Her mom had a friend in Sweden who knew a guy who helped her get out of the country on a quiet autumn night. It was the last she saw of her parents and her home for a long, long time and the heartbreak she felt over leaving everything behind would keep her fire lit for many years.

Her mom being swedish was her saving grace, since that country didn’t have a witch army. She only had to attend school for a year to be trained in practicing work safely and then she was free to roam Europe without fear of being sent back to the States.

It was during those years roaming the continent that she had come into contact with the Spree. It was freely spoken around the sweedish witch school’s campus how unfair the situation of witches across the world was, and America was everyone’s favourite case, with the Spree a close second. She had run in with a classmate in a party in Paris and knowing she was american he had then introduced her to his other friends.

They were so normal looking, so easy going that it never occurred to her to think this was the Spree. These men and women laughing and drinking, dancing to shity music and smoking cheap cigars, they were the feared terrorist she had heard about growing up. They were the ones wrecking chaos across the continent, promising and threatening to cross the Atlantic and take back the freedom of their brothers and sisters.

She met other american exiles after officially joining, but they weren’t like her. They were living fake lives, with fake names, running from the army set on bringing them back to the fold. She started hating the Alders more, those stupid High Atlantics and their stupid parties and balls, the freedom they had worth the blood of the masses of ungloryfied lines.

Worth Scylla’s own blood.

It was the anger and hate that kept her going, and it was missing her parents, the uncertainty of seeing them and her home again, the memory of Porter’s childish laughter that kept her fighting.

When she joined the Spree she had been so certain she was doing the right thing. Long before she learned the truth of Raelle she was already living a lie of her own, so maybe that’s where the line should be.

Her first mistake was to trust them.

Never again. Trust has to be earned.

That’s the only way.

“You are not dad”

Her mother holds her stern expression for a long minute, before she smiles and points to the chair opposite hers for her to sit “You are so much like your father.” She waives a waiter over and returns her attention back to her “He was called for a last minute meeting, that’s why I’m here and not him”

They order quickly, after some prodding by Scylla and as soon as the waiter leaves she turns back to her mom “Meeting with who?”

“Who do you think?” her mom shakes her head, like she too does not like what her dad is up to lately “Vivian Alder. It seems they’re moving forward with an alliance despite that scene yesterday”

Scylla groans, this is why he doesn’t have lunch with her mom “You talk as if I had done it on purpose. Is not like I wanted that to happen”

“So you dated her for almost three years and you never made it past first names?” her mom is the picture of disbelief “You very conveniently never mention her to us”

“I told you I was seeing someone, and I was going by your name because of the whole dodging the draft thing, and she...I guess Collar was her father” she comes up with that on the spot, and stops because it's very possible that is the truth.

There’s very little known about Vivian Alder herself, her family is even more mysterious. But Scylla has always known about an adoptive daughter, the only child of Alder’s younger sister who had apparently lived a very low profile life despite her name. The father of the child was unknown, although there has always been rumors that it was a human from the Cession. Scylla learned most of it from the Spree, and despite having been with Raelle during the same time she never put two and two together until they did it for her.

They had called it the perfect hit. Kill the last Alder and finish off the line that had caused American witches so much pain.

But Scylla loved that Alder.

She had known her as Raelle Collar from Chippewa Cession, who had served for a year in Fort Salem before being given a dispensation. A dispensation Scylla had assumed was related to her dead parents. Raelle Collar was kind and sweet. She was soft, but oh so stubborn at the worst of times. She had a silly sense of humor and a big heart. And Scylla had loved her for it, for everything she was.

Raelle loved her too, even when Scylla didn’t always make it easy. She had taken time to open, and never gave her the full truth, she was stubborn too and despite all that Raelle had loved her. She had loved her so much that sometimes Scylla could still feel the ghost of that love, like a missing piece that had been taken from her heart.

She couldn’t kill her. In hindsight, she never could have done it. But she had tried for months.

Scylla has struggled to find the courage to do what was needed for a cause she so firmly believed in. Killing Raelle was a hit on the heart of the whole American Witch Military, a last fuck you to Sarah Alder, wherever she had gone to when she died and all the ones that came after her. Those stupid High Atlantics and their feeling of superiority. Killing Raelle would have sent a loud and clear message to everyone who mattered. And they had entrusted her with it.

So she ran.

Because she knew that she could never do it, and it was only her who could get close enough.

It was saving her by leaving her. Every step away from their home was like dying and she has not felt alive since, so maybe she did die that day on the sidewalk between the pub and the flower shop that occupied the lower level of their building.

She left hoping that with her leaving they wouldn’t go through with the plan. She had been chosen cause Raelle trusted her, she had an in no one else had. And in leaving he had left them with all the information but no way to approach her. Scylla had also never told them about Tally Craven and Abigail Bellweather, who shared a flat on the floor below Raelle’s. Despite being her best friends, Scyla had always suspected they might have also been her security detail.

But there was always the possibility they went through with it anyways. They were good at finding a way, so he cut a deal. A deal with the devil, or at least one of them, but it bought Raelle’s life and her own freedom.

Blood was blood after all.

“Scylla”

She tries her best to look like she wasn’t a million miles away in her mind “Yes?”

“I asked if you are okay” her mom looks concerned “I know I’m hard on you, but I worry, you’re my kid. So, are you okay?”

“No” she doesn’t know where all this honesty is coming from, but she needs to get it out “I’m worried, I don’t trust the Alders, I don’t trust their intentions with dad. I think he should be careful”

Her mom looks around the restaurant as if looking for something before returning her eyes to her “I know how you feel about them, and I get it, with everything we went through with you. But your father trusts them, so maybe we should too”

It doesn’t escape her that her mom very subtly indicated that she doesn’t trust Vivian Alder either, but trust has to be earned. She wont forget that this time.

“I just... I have a bad feeling” an Anacostia Quartermaine size bad feeling.

Her mom takes her words in consideration, and doesn't speak for a while. Scylla busies herself eating, trying to figure this out. She knows there's something happening here.

"I think it's justified" her mom speaks quietly, as if she is trying to work it out as she goes "Your distrust. I understand it, but I think more good can come out of this than bad. He could make real change happen with a platform like the one the Alders have"

"Yeah, mom, but at what price?"

And just then, as if to add emphasis to her words the background music on the restaurant comes to a halt, and the tv over the bar too, the screen changes to a deep blue background the seal of the president's office.

The voice on the radio comes at the same time as the words on the tv.

"The President of the United States has died"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy it!  
> I apreciate any feedback you can and want to give me 💜  
> As always you can hit me up on tumblr @realbluedragon


	3. Chapter 3

She chokes on her burrito when she sees the news.

Tally pushes her glass closer, still engrossed on the tv over her shoulder, her own burrito splattered on the plate from when she dropped it. 

“Shit. Clary is dead” she whispers with disbelief. 

Raelle can only nod in agreement and secretly hope that whatever happened to the president is in no way related to that whole scapegoat speech from last night.

“What do you think happened?” Tally asks, finally looking away from the tv. 

“I don’ know but someone tried to kill my aunt a couple days ago.” She remembers aunt Sarah’s calmness as she told her. “So this now...I’m sure we’ll know more soon”

“Yeah, you will, surely” Tally gives her a look, like she’s trying to say something without actually saying it and in the end she gives up with a sigh “Rae, your aunt is the president now”

Ah fuck, she is right. Her aunt totally is the president now. If that is a good or bad thing remains to be seen. Raelle is not the type to jump to conclusions, but aunt Sarah’s been at this game for longer than anybody having lived for three hundred years. So a political assasination, for whatever the reasons, yeah she can see her aunt doing that. It wouldn’t come as the biggest surprise in the world. The question is why.

“I suppose she is” she replies, no emotion to her voice “It will be worse than when she was General of the Witch Army I imagine”

“Except this time she won’t be your boss” Tally points out, her usual smile reappearing on her face, even if it's only to tease her ‘cause aunt Sarah will always find a way to make her do what she pleases “Should we avoid the Secret Service and get you home to the White House?”

“Goddess no,” anything but that. At least Khalida is in school so she doesn't have to deal with this until friday afternoon. Raelle has no such luck "It's a real shame I'm not supposed to be goin' back to work for another week. She’s goin' to find a way to drag me into her mess"

Tally seems to sense that maybe they should move on from this topic of conversation “So why did you call?” she asks, quirking and eyebrow in question “You said you wanted to talk and we never got to it”

Raelle groans, she had momentarily forgotten about it “Well it's not important now.” She tries to get out of this conversation by playing the card she’s been given, but Tally doesn't seem to be willing to let it go and in the end Raelle sighs “Its Scylla. She…You know senator Ramshorn?” Tally nods, waiting eagerly for an explanation “She’s her daughter, and aunt Sarah is making him her vp candidate”

“Crap. You’ve seen her then?” Tally asks, leaning over the table as if she could hear better that way.

“Yesterday. For lunch, it felt kinda like an ambush, worked ‘bout the same” she tries to downplay it, but Tally is good at bringing the truth out of her, in the end she relents “It was a lot”

“Not good then,” Tally reads her easily.

“She has Medea, and I called her out on it, trashing my place too. She called me out on not mentioning I was my aunt’s niece in almost three years”

Tally doesn’t say anything at first, stares at her carefully as if assaseing if she’s ready to hear whatever she has to say “She’s right about that, though” she says after a minute.

Raelle groans, takes a sip of her drink only to keep herself occupied a minute longer “I know. But she left me, Tal”

“Because she learned who you were?” Tally makes it sound like a question, but there’s certainty in her eyes, and Raelle knows just as well as her friend that that is the most likely truth.

“But bein’ an Alder was never a real thing for me growin’ up. I was a Collar all my life, and an Alder only when aunt Sarah needed me too” she explains for what feels the millionth time, and Tally nods cause she knows all this already.

Tally, and Abigail too, know her well enough that Raelle is an Alder only by blood.

The High Atlantics always looked down on her and her aunt only did something about it when the whispers got loud enough they could pose a threat to her position as the leader of the American witches. Sure she cared about Raelle, but she was also a firm believer in toughening her up.

An Alder is only as strong as the burden they can carry unshaken, she used to tell her when she was younger and would come back from boarding school with the marks of another fight on her body.

She had been lucky to have Abigail and Tally to fight her battles by her side. Because she was a fighter alright, her pop had made sure she knew how to defend herself and her mama had taught her to fix herself up, but she had always been an army of one. Good enough against some stupid boy trying to make points with the shoolyard bullies, but an army of teenage high atlantics were a whole other story.

“I’ll never be an Alder, is just a name for me” she sighs, cause she will die on this hill “Scylla knew the real me, the one that mattered”

“Maybe she didn’t know that” Tally says, her expression softening “You knew who she was, Rae. American witch, draft dodger, an exile. Your name is the same as the one witch who made the world like this. You’re an Alder in all the ways that matter to her”

“ ‘m not” she insists, but at this point Raelle knows Tally is right. She has a way to make you get it, and Raelle hates how much sense she makes “I’m nothin’ like ‘em, Tal. There ain’ a bit of Alder in me”

The last part is a whisper. The words she’s been saying for a long time now have never felt heavier than they do now. She can see in her friend's eyes that she can tell. 

Tally takes her hand “I know, Rae”

The rest of lunch is quiet. All that needed to be said has already been spoken and the president remains dead, the implications of what that means for them sets the mood as they make their way out of the cafe and into the cold D.C streets. 

They agree silently to take the train back to Alder Manor, knowing aunt Sarah will want them around in case they’re needed. Anacostia hasn’t contacted them, but it never hurts to be cautious. Once out of the station they walk the rest of the way to the house like they always do. Today is an especially bad idea. Its obvious aunt Sarah is home. The street is crawling with the press and a small crowd of people trying to catch a glimpse of the new president through the manor’s gates. 

A car honks making them jump, and as Raelle turns towards the offensive noise she recognizes it immediately. It's the car from yesterday at the Ramshorn’s driveway, and right behind the wheel there’s one Scylla Ramshorn who rolls down the window and speaks hurriedly “Get in”

“Excuse me?”

Scylla doesn’t answer because Tally is already getting in, and now Raelle is standing alone in the middle of the road like a fucking fool.

Even better, Tally took the back seat.

She gets in and sits down, all in one quick motion. Scylla doesn’t say anything, and neither will she. Tally’s eyes are burning a hole in the back of her head.

“Hi Scylla” Tally speaks after a tense minute, just as the car starts moving again.

“Hello again, Tally” Scylla replies, a little too cheerfully for Raelle “Is good to see you again. Where’s the third half of you?”

Tally beams at the chance for conversation, and maybe also to talk to Scylla. Raelle remembers them to have grown close over the course of her relationship with Scylla. Well close in opposition to Abigail who straight up hated Scylla’s guts. She had called it a bad feeling and she had been right, she was also gracious enough to never gloat about it. At least not in front of her.

“Abi is a lawyer now, she is in The Hague with her mom" Tally explains with a wide grin, like she's just catching up with an old friend "They are, huh, negotiating with the japanese”

Raelle snorts, that is one word for what they are doing with the japanese. With aunt Sarah’s blessing and an iron fist Petra has taken the US Witch Army further than any general in the past century. But she was bound to hit a wall eventually. So in The Hague they are trying to come up with an arrangement for a dent she had made in said wall.

It has been going for six weeks now. Raelle had been with them until aunt Sarah called her back home, ‘cause apparently she was at her beck and call. But Tally had remained with Anacostia the whole time, and free from having to deal with one angry and frustrated Petra Bellweather, and one equally frustrated and annoyed Abigail Bellweather. It had been a lot, but not nearly as bad as this current situation. Stuck in a car with Scylla.

And Tally, of course.

“Negotiating” Scylla smiles through the rearview mirror, the mischief reads like she doesn’t believe that’s all they’re doing, and she’s not wrong “That’s what my dad was doing here when the whole thing with the president break through”

"It's crazy" Tally is quick to keep the conversation going, even if they're already in the gates waiting to be let into the property whenever the press is nice enough to clear the space "It's like that time a couple years ago when Buttonwood and Harding were killed in The Hague just after they had been nominated as representatives on the UN"

Maybe she's being paranoid, but Raelle could swear there was something like panic for a second on Scylla's eyes. But it's too quick for her to be sure so she doesn't say anything.

"How are those two the same?" Scylla asks, her voice coming out restrained.

"Well cause they all were witches in positions of power" Tally says like it's obvious "And the first ones at that"

It stunes both Scylla and herself into silence.

The gates open and Scylla parks the car by the entrance.

"You make an interesting point" Scylla tells Tally when they have gotten out of the car "I hadn't thought of it"

"We should tell Anacostia" Raelle finally speaks, and Scylla eyes are a little bit panicked again when she catches her eyes "Are you okay?" she finds herself asking with legitimate curiosity. Scylla used to have a tendency to get tangled in her thoughts a lot.

"Yeah, just...adjusting to the everyday experience of being a witch in America” Scylla smirks, sarcasm dripping from her voice “You wouldn't know though, not having the gift an all"

Raelle doesn't take the bait, calls it mercy and walks forward to the door.

Inside the house is much a disarray as the street outside. Raelle doesn't keep up with her aunt's political allies, but she does recognize them as a group. She calls the boot lickers in her head, and just like her they are at her aunt's beck and call.

At least she does it begrudgingly.

Aunt Sarah sees her across the room and signals for Raelle to join her.

Raelle looks over her shoulder intending to let Tally know she's going to meet her aunt. Instead she gets carried away by the magnetism of Scylla's calculating and beautiful blue eyes as she takes in the people in the room. She looks focused, like a woman on a mission. And fuck if she isn't just as beautiful as the last time she saw her, the morning of that last day, hair a little wild and wearing one of Raelle's oversized college t-shirts.

To this day Raelle has not come across a scene as captivating as this woman standing on their bedroom door calling her over to say goodbye properly. 

And just on this one instant she realizes something. The world has been dimmer without Scylla and she never noticed. Maybe she was too caught up in her pain, and then work and so on. But it is true, she knows it now looking into those eyes, the world was dimmer until just a second ago, devoid of some kind of magic that was Scylla's alone.

Scylla's eyes fall on her, and she too seems to be having her own epiphany. There's something wild and raw on her expression, like she's wide open and unafraid to be seen so very deeply. Is a lot, and Raelle has to look away, she has the certainty that in that instant Scylla too looked away.

She still hates her for what she's done. Scylla might be beautiful, but she's also burning fire and Raelle won't be burned again.

"Raelle"

Aunt Sarah's commanding voice breaks her away from the moment, from looking up and getting caught up again on that onslaught of memories a second time. So she takes her chance at escaping and follows the voice back to her aunt.

"Thanks for not speaking straight into my head this time" she says as she approaches, smiling politely at the two witches by her aunt’s side "Very polite of you"

Aunt Sarah lets out a little laugh "Tried that, couldn't get through. You must be getting good at blocking me"

Raelle hasn't. She stopped trying years ago, decided instead to dedicate her time to make the experience of violating her privacy just as much a suffering for her aunt as it was for her. Shitty songs that get stuck in your head for weeks have been her favourite trick for a long time now.

"Sure I did. Why you call? Need a helpin' hand now, Commander in Chief?" she mock salutes, and her aunt slaps her hand away.

"Stop that at once. I wanted to have a talk in private" she begins moving, doesn’t wait for Raelle to follow knowing that she will, and she does. All the way to the kitchen that her aunt closes behind them with a special seed.

She waits for aunt Sarah to speak, after all she's the one that brought them here. But she doesn't and it's annoying, Raelle feels subjected once more to those awful experiments the first weeks on her care.

"I thought you wanted to talk" she mutters quickly, trying to cover her tormented emotions.

Her aunt nods "Yes, I did. I'm sure you have questions"

"I don' have any. No"

"You lie" there's a long silence after the words leave her aunt's mouth, like she's waiting for Raelle to prove her right.

" 'm not. You called me 'ere not the other way 'round. So speak, or walk away, Madam President"

Aunt Sarah stares at her in silent contemplation, finally she seems to have reached a conclusion "I need you to keep an eye on the Bellweather situation while I deal with my new responsibilities. Being president will be all I can manage for a while, maybe more. I need to know I can...trust you, Raelle. With everything"

Raelle sighs. Of course this is what this whole charade is about. Melodrama was a surprise twist her aunt had taken to in the last couple years as her future became more dire. All Raelle's fault really.

"Is what you've prepared me for. Eventualities and such"

Aunt Sarah gives an almost smile, clasping her hands together behind her back “Excellent. Make the calls to have Abigail Bellweather return. Your unit and Anacostia will handle everything while I can’t. Circe stays out until its absolutly necesary, understood?”

“Yes, ma’am”

“And remember to have someone sent to Petra as replacement, one of those suckups, Treefine or Libba Swythe, they’ll love it”

“Especially if the order comes from me” she mutters, and aunt Sarah laughs waving her away.

She leaves quickly, decides not to go back with the others and makes her way to her room. Tally will know where to find her after she realizes she is not coming back.

Just as she is going up the stairs she hears voices coming from one the hallways that open around the main room. But it isn’t any voice, is Scylla. In her home, ‘cause nothing is sacred anymore and not even in her home she’s safe from her. But she stops walking and gets closer to the railing to catch what’s being said.

“Dad, I don’t like this,” Scylla says in a hurried whisper. The other person, her father, is moving back towards where the others are when he speaks.

“This is huge Scylla, and you know it is not about me, it's about you and all the others. It's what we’ve been waiting for generations. It could change everything”

“Or you could get thrown into the deep end. You could get hurt. These are dangerous people, we’re not like them and maybe now they’re playing nice but when you get comfortable they will remind you that you do not belong”

“Scylla, darling, you’re being paranoid” her father speaks calmly “I’m doing this so other families don’t have to go through what we did with you. Do you remember how hard it was to get you back home?”

“Yes, dad, but-”

“No, Scylla. This is decided. You can go home, or stay and wait for the meeting to be over, but I am staying”

Raelle hears the sound of his shoes on the marble floor as he gets farther away. She’s about to turn back and head back to her room when she hears her name.

"Raelle" a pause "I know it's you, I...can see you"

Fuck.

“You're a shit host, eavesdropping on people's private conversations. What do you want?” Scylla asks.

There’s anger clearly written across her face and everything in Raelle says run. Scylla was never good with anger, it was all consuming but it had never been directed her way. She should try to keep it that way.

Instead of running though she walks closer, her eyes hold Scylla’s firmly and her feet carry her forward and now it's too late, she’s caught in her orbit again and there’s nowhere to run.

"You're right, your dad...he shouldn' trust my aunt" she surprises herself with her words, and Scylla too seems surprised.

This is her chance to escape, Scylla is distracted and she turns to leave. She barely hears Scylla’s whispered words.

“You were always too kind”

Raelle turns back around slowly, trying to read in Scylla’s expression “A kind liar, then” she says, slowly.

Scylla smiles, seems to hate that she's done it and looks away “I was too”

“Kind or a liar?”

Scylla keeps her eyes away as she speaks, “I guess we were both comfortable with our lies” she pauses, and looks up to find Raelle is already looking at her, wanting to see how far she’ll go “Until I couldn’t deal with it any longer”

The lies. It sounds so simple when put that way, incapable of creating such a painful mess. But here they are, this is the longest conversation they’ve had and Raelle can feel her pain, can see the pain in Scylla too. Apologizing is surprisingly easy.

“I'm sorry I lied” she says, and means it. She might hate her, but she used to love her too. It's complicated, but this one bit at least makes sense.

Scylla doesn’t say anything, just nods a little taking in her words.

“Are you?” she asks, both to fill the silence and because she wants to hear it. An apology would go a long way here.

“I can’t say I am, no” comes the reply, it takes a second but Scylla looks up into her eyes again “I believed wholeheartedly I was doing the right thing, and even if I was wrong in the end, I am who I am because of it. I’m sorry you got hurt though, I truly wish there had been another way”

Raelle gets the feeling Scylla just kinda shook off her involvement in how things ended. And the anger, the storm inside of her begs to be released.

"I didn't get hurt, Scylla, you hurt me. You left me. Is not something that happened out of your control, you did it. At least owe up to it"

“I do, believe me, Raelle I do” Scylla is earnest in her defense, even if she isn’t really saying anything “You are right, that I hurt you. I’m sorry”

“I’m still mad at you” she knows she sounds like a little child here, but it's the truth. The apology is nice and all, but is not enough.

“I’m mad at you too” Scylla replies cooly, like she wasn’t just affected by all this as Raelle “I should go see where my father went”

Raelle let’s her go, she really doesn’t have a reason not to. And as she watches her walk away she thinks about the words they’ve exchanged.

She got an apology and a whole lot of questions she doesn’t really want to have to think about.

Lucky for her aunt Sarah gave her homework, and as soon as Tally comes to find her they should get to work. It’s a shame really, that because of this she won’t get to go back to the shop, she was really looking forward to that. She’ll have to make time.

***

Tally is surprisingly quick to find her in her room. She knocks and walks in a second later.

“I saw Scylla on my way here, I’m guessing you had the talk you wanted” Tally says and sits down on the bed, kicking off her shoes. It's a shame Abigail’s not here to admonish her.

“Not the one I wanted to hear” she mutters, turning around in her desk chair to face her friend “Aunt Sarah put me in charge of things until she can get a hang of being the president. Which is something I’m sure all High Atlantics will love”

“You are their favourite half-blood Rae”

“Sure I am” she sighs, the weight of everything slowly falling on her “All I can think ‘bout right now is the mess with Scylla. Am I a terrible person for feeling that way when President Clary just died?”

Tally sighs, lets out a little laugh "You wouldn't be the first to feel that way"

"You're still hung up on Gerit?" she asks a little bit worried for her friend.

Tally waves her off with a laugh “You’re still hang up on Scylla, so shut up”

Raelle doesn’t have an answer that won’t make her sound like a fool, so she doesn’t answer and Tally smiles knowingly.

“Goddess I miss Abi” Tally says after a minute “She would still be teasing you for your silence”

“Shut up” she relents, and it makes her friend laugh so loud she’s pretty sure everyone in the house has heard her. She lets her get it all out before trying to talk again “Aunt Sarah said we can bring Abi home, so we should get to that”

Tally’s excitement is contagious, and Raelle lets it take over her. Is better than the alternative of wallowing about her feelings, be it over the dead president who was always kind to her, or the whole...thing with Scylla.

She focuses on getting her unit back together and that’s how she spends the rest of the day.

Tally falls asleep around midnight tuck into Raelle’s bed. They went over everything twice, cause they don't usually handle paperwork like this, but they get Abigail on the first flight back to the States and send Treefine to take her place.

Raelle has too much fun ordering the soldier around, both like a “civilian” and a half-blood. Treefine tries to get off the hook, but Raele puts on her best Sarah Alder impression and gets her running around packing her stuff and calling her ma’am all in one call.

She thinks they did good enough that she could still make time to go over the shop tomorrow and maybe spend half the day lost between car parts to relax and lay low. Aunt Sarah will find her eventually.

With everything settled for the day she goes downstairs for a glass of something stronger to wash the day away.

That is where aunt Sarah finds her, she walks in talking with Anacostia and cuts herself off when her eyes land on Raelle.

"Oh. I suppose you have gone over everything" she says, taking the bourbon and two glasses to pour herself and Anacostia a drink.

"Twice" she mutters "I have a question, its been buggin' me all day long-"

"It wasn't me" her aunt interrupts her, like she knows exactly what she’s going to say "I counted on Clary's positive image and her blessing for my campaign, since she was your “grandma's” right hand. Now I have to do the actual work and risk losing the election if something goes wrong"

"So then who? And how do the Ramshorn fit into this?" is not a question, is a demand and maybe she should have thought this through before speaking.

Her aunt's face contorts in anger and the glass in her hand shatters. Only then Anacostia speaks.

"Maybe we should all go to bed" she steps between them and gives Raelle a pointed look "Big day tomorrow, with the press conference and everything"

None of them speak. They're still looking at each other, neither one willing to be the first one to look away.

Anacostia signs, "Sarah, please. I'll deal with her"

Aunt Sarah looks away then, to Anacostia but Raelle can feel her anger still like she's being held on a vice grip.

"Do it, then" aunt Sarah says, words measured and calculated like everything she does "I feel mercyful today"

"So much for caring for me" she mutters, despite everything in her yelling to remain silent "You're full of bullshit"

The tightness of the invisible grasp grows stronger "Do not mistake my words, child, I care for you, but I have cared and lost before, by my own hand too. I can live with it"

With those final words she turns to leave. Anacostia waits until they hear her walking up the stairs to speak.

"What were you thinking?"

Raelle shrugs "I'm sick of her bullshit. We're all pawns in her stupid game. I'm over it"

"Raelle…" Anacostia looks crossed about something, after a minute she speaks again "She's worried. We think it was the Spree who killed Clary. Tally reminded me about the UN representatives we sent and were killed in The Hague. Iit makes sense that they'd kill witches to destabilize her power, they have been trying to make the jump across the Atlantic for years now. Maybe this is it"

"Cause they know she's dyin' "

Anacosia nods “For the first time in three hundred years she’s scared. You shouldn't play these games right now, you’ll only hurt yourself, and those who care about you”

“Should we be scared too, Ana?” she finds herself asking, beginning to relax in the presence of this woman she trusts won’t hurt her.

Anacostia drinks her bourbon as she thinks over her answer “I think we should be cautious” she looks over by the door where aunt Sarah walked out of before returning her eyes to Raelle “If she falls, we cannot let it drag us down as well. Something must remain”

Something must remain. Raelle has heard one many times before. Never like this, there’s something odd in Anacostia’s expression she can’t quite read. It sparks her curiosity and the other witch has noticed.

“Go to bed” Anacostia tells her, taking the empty glass from her “Tomorrow’s a big day”

“Yeah, big day.. goodnight, Ana” she walks away, stops by the door and looks as Anacostia pours herself a second glass of bourbon.

Something is brewing here, and she’s curious as to what it might be.

Tomorrow will be an interesting day for sure.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

_ A kind liar. _

Those are the words that come to mind as she watches Alder's speech on tv. 

Or she pretends to do so, because everyone else in the office is doing it. But she's not listening to the president as she speaks. Her eyes are on the two witches on her left side.

Well one witch and one half-blood, she supposes.

Raelle looks good. She's always looked good in suits. She cleans up well, she tells herself and remembers the one thousand times she heard Raelle say those exact words. She smiles against her will.

But Raelle looks good, if a little tense, a hand gently placed on the younger witch's shoulder.

Her sister. President Alder's adoptive daughters Raelle and Khalida, the news anchor had said. Is it odd that she doesn't immediately hate her on sight? In the place where the hate should be, there's warmness.

_ "I'm sorry I lied," _ Raelle said, and Scylla knows she meant it.

Maybe that's why she can't muster the hate right now. She was always soft for an earnest Raelle. Honest, even in her apologies about lying. It's been so long, but she has not forgotten all that Raelle was.

"Ramshorn, I need you over here" Izadora, her boss, calls her over from her office door. She's the only one not watching the speech, choosing instead to keep working on reviewing the cases they're working on over a cup of tea.

"What's up boss?"

Izadora rolls her eyes, waits for her to sit down before speaking "Is the woman I told you about, the one stuck in Spain. Lewis"

"There are worse places to be stuck in. I remember during my own exile, I spent a very relaxing weekend in Almeria. Let’s just say that when I went back to London I could’ve charge up an-”

"I'm going to cut right there because I can see where this is going and I have zero interest in how you entertained yourself during your exile" Izadora takes a sip of her tea to hide her smile at Scylla's antics "Her permit to enter the country was denied by the Department of Defense, signed by one Sergeant Quartermaine, Vivian Alder's right hand. I called Lewis to notify her and I got some interesting stuff from her"

Anacostia Quartermaine again. One lunch and now she can't go a day without hearing that name.

"What did she say?" she asks, trying to distract herself from the memory of tightness in her chest.

"Says she was taken by some black-ops while laying low in Barcelona. Witches. Three of them, they delivered her to second location where she was interrogated about her relation to the Spree”

"That's one way of breaking the Geneva Convention," Scylla replies. It is really, but she doesn’t find the army doing that kind of shit to be shocking anymore "So what, she says Quartermaine was in on it?"

"She says Quartermaine was the interrogator. The three witches took her to Quartermaine” Izadora sits back with a sigh "And now, I know exile can mess with your head and the Spree runs rampant in some places over there but, I don't know. As an exile yourself, what do you think?"

Scylla wants to say it is not possible. She was in Europe for almost eight years and she never came across this black-ops shit, only the Spree. But then again with Raelle being an Alder is possible she kept her off limits, and thus saved her from having a run in with Quartermaine's interrogation techniques.

"My exile experience, I must reckon was pretty sheltered," she admits and Izadora nods, once again hiding her amused smile behind her tea cup. Maybe speaking about her weekend in Almeria was too much "I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that yes, it's possible. Did she say anything else?"

"Nothing that helps us in any way. It happened in june four years ago, the three witches were good at what they were doing, stealthy. There was a seer, she tried to hide and they still found her, a blaster too, that's how she got hurt. Oh, and a fixer" Izadora stops her finger over a point in her notes, a strange expression on her usually stoic face "She fix her up, used a method Lewis had never seen before"

Scylla sighs, she’s starting to get an idea, a crazy one at that, but an idea nonetheless. It irks her, she doesn’t want it to be true “So, summer four years ago, a seer, a blaster and a fixer were in Barcelona and they kidnapped Lewis and took her to Quartermaine?”

“Yes, that’s what she said” Izadora gives her a pointed look “You have any ideas?”

“No, none. Sorry. But we should probably look into it. See if we can find someone else with a similar story. If it happened once, then it must’ve happened twice too” she offers, and she’s offering herself for the job too here. This idea in her head, like a puzzle with missing pieces won’t let her sleep until she knows if she’s right.

Izadora nods, thinking over her offer “And then what? If it's true it's a direct violation of so many international conventions, but Alder is the president right now. I saw the polls last night, she's winning, Scylla”

“I’m going to say something, but it has to stay between us” she closes the office door and sits back down, Izadora’s eyes are firmly on her “Alder’s chosen her vp for the upcoming elections, its my dad”

  
  


“So why do you want to do this then?” Izadora curiously asks "It could screw him over, and so many others too. Vivian Alder could be good for us, Clary did a great job as the first witch to become president, but Alder-"

"I have it in good faith that Alder is planning something. I don't trust her, and I want to keep my father safe" Scylla cuts her off, and hopes her boss understands. 

Izadora nods, she looks like she wants to say more but chooses not to "Very well. Take the file and the notes and go over it, I'll have some of the other guys look into the interviews and-"

"No I'll handle it,” she stands up quickly taking the file as she goes.

"All of it?"

"Yeah"

"Okay. But don't take files home and don't stay all night here either" Izadora locks her eyes with her, waiting for a confirmation.

"Fine" she turns to leave, but stops by the door. The rest of the office is still looking at the tv where Alder's speech continues. Raelle is still standing there, face a bit blurry in the screen, but Scylla could recognize her anywhere "Izadora, one last question"

Her boss follows her line of sight to the tv where the speech is playing before nodding "Yes, of course"

"You served" she starts.

Izadora nods again "I did, until I got my dispensation to study law. I opened this office with the Alders blessing" she points to a picture in the wall behind her where a much younger Izadora stands next to Vivian Alder, Anacostia Quartermaine and an old woman Scylla recognizes as Alder's mother and former General of the Army. 

To see them all being so close, smiling easily between each other makes Scylla see Izadora under a whole new light. Suddenly she has more questions, but she decides to stick to the original one for now.

"How common is it to have a unit with a seer, a blaster and a fixer?"

Her boss thinks over her answer, and Scylla makes time by looking at the pictures behind her for the first time.

The one that calls her attention is what she supposes is Izadora's graduation day, she's standing between two other witches, all three in pristine uniforms. The one to her right has Scylla's attention immediately. Short blonde hair, grey blue eyes, all too familiar braids on either side of her head and a bright smile on her lips. She never asked before, but she suddenly wants to know who exactly is her boss, that seems to be so intertwined with Raelle's family.

"I can only think of one unit with those exact specialties in the last ten years" Izadora says, bringing Scylla's attention back to the present "Is not as common as one might think. In basic they randomly assign witches in units and there's more blasters than any other specialty, so yeah, it's actually very uncommon"

Scylla nods. In the last ten years she said. A broad period of time, vague enough that it would leave many wondering, and yet Scylla thinks she knows what unit it was. 

"Anything else?" Izadora asks. Her tea must be cold by now, but she takes another sip as she waits for Scylla’s answer.

Don't say anything, she tells herself, but she changes her mind at the last minute "That picture" he says, pointing at the one from graduation day "Is that your unit?"

Izadora follows the trajectory of Scylla’s finger to the picture in question and smiles "Yeah, it was. A long time ago too"

"Are you still close with them?" she asks, and maybe she sounds more invested than she should be, but Izadora rolls with it.

"No, they, huh, they died. A couple years apart from each other"

"Oh, I'm sorry"

Izadora waves off her apology "Don't be. I have their kids to remember them by, and they're a handful. But, they keep me young I suppose”

"You're close to their kids?"

Her boss looks at her intently. Like maybe she's gone too far with her line of questioning "Go do your job, Ramshorn. We'll catch up some other time"

Scylla laughs, she likes Izadora despite her secrets and very obvious connection to the Alders "Yes, ma'am" she salutes and walks away from the office.

***

She spends the day until lunch going over the file Izadora gave her. She’s read it so many times she could recite it from memory if needed, but she hasn’t learned anything new so when everyone goes to get lunch she makes her way to the archive in the basement in search of any other files they have on Lewis. She comes up empty handed, and decides to go over all the cases they’ve had in the past year.

There’s a lot to go over. But Scylla loves her job, even when they win about ten cases a year. That’s ten people get to go back to their families and homes. It's why she took this job too. She had heard about Izadora back when she was in Sweden, trying to get back to the US. Izadora had contacted her when she heard about her from a friend who heard it from her father. She had offered Scylla a position in the firm, the only one of its kind, and how could she say no? It was what she always wanted, a way to make a change, or at least to make an unfair system a little fairer.

Since then, almost three years ago, Izadora had taken Scylla under her wing. She was a tough boss and sometimes she made Scylla want to quit and return to her life of exile in Europe. But she persisted because they were making something important here.

Every time they won a case and they got to see someone reunite with their families after many years, Scylla knew she had done the right thing coming back and staying.

It's hours later when she makes her way out of the archive, arms full of files and a slightly clearer idea of what is happening. She’s found three more people with similar stories, all of them with their permits denied, and hopefully still alive and not dead somewhere where no one could find them. That was a thing she learned happens quite a lot with american witches in exile.

But here she has three witches with a story very similar to that of Lewis. Kidnapped by three witches, not everyone said the three specialties but where one would say a blaster and a fixer, the other one would say a seer and a blaster, and so on. Enough breadcrumbs to build a theory from.

A theory that goes like this: Raelle’s dispensation was bullshit and she and her friends were totally Anacostia Quartermaine’s black-ops unit. And Scylla has been a fool, too blinded by her love not to see what was happening right under her nose.

She brings her files to her desk and finds the office empty, so maybe it is later than she thought. The clock on the wall says it's just past three and that explains where everyone’s gone too. Izadora is pretty lax about the office hours, so the desks are usually empty after three if there's no big case.

But some, like Scylla, stay until much later working on their cases. The empty office makes for a more focused work ambirement for Scylla, she prefers it that way. Except it is not fully empty at the moment, there’s people in Izadora’s office. She can hear voices grown louder as the conversation gets more heated.

She catches “liar” twice, quickly followed by a few well-chosen cursed words all from Izadora, before the other person answers more quietly as if trying to placate her, so Scylla can’t hear what they’re saying.

The door opens suddenly as the voices keep growing louder again. Scylla curses under her breath as Raelle walks out of the office looking everywhere but at the door she just came through. Her eyes land on Scylla and she looks like she wants to run.

But Scylla is angry with her. So angry it doesn’t even make sense.

It's partly from yesterday, when she straight up said exactly what Scylla didn’t need to hear.

_ “You’re right, your dad shouldn’t trust my aunt” _

Why would she say that? Why couldn’t that be the time she lied? Fucking Raelle Collar and her badly chosen times to put on an honesty policy.

But it's also because of what she thinks she knows, yet another lie said to her by this beautiful woman. Scylla could let one lie slip, even as big as being an Alder, she could try to understand why Raelle wouldn’t want to say that. But two leads to three, and three's a pattern, and then she could’ve lied about anything. And maybe Scylla is the world's greatest hypocrite here, but damn it she is mad.

She’s walking towards her before she knows she’s doing it, but Raelle does see it coming and walks backwards until her back hits an open door.

Scylla shoves her into the room with more force than necessary and closes the door behind them. She will get her answers even if they have to stay locked in here all night for it to happen.

"Scylla, what is happenin'?" Raelle asks, walking farther into the room to keep a good amount of distance between them.

Just then it begins to dawn on Scylla what she's done. Fuck. What now?

The glistening chain on Raelle's neck going under her button up shirt brings her back to her line of thought when she brought them here. A chain she remembers holds a medal. A military medal with Raelle's name in it and the words Dispensation from Active Duty. Another big fucking lie for sure.

It seems Raelle might be better at lying than Scylla gave her credit for. It hurts, this revelation. She thought she was over Raelle and her lies. But the way this hurts right now, maybe she isn’t over anything of what’s happened between them.

“Scylla?” Raelle calls her again, with a little more force “What’s goin’ on?”

That goddamn drawl, and her worried eyes. It's too much. She needs to do something, say something soon. And anger, well, it’s always been her go to defense mechanism.

“You...you lied to me” she stammers her words, but gets them out in the end, and she is damn proud of herself for it.

Raelle on the other hand looks greatly confused “I, we… we’ve been over this already. I said I was sorry”

“Bullshit”

“ ‘kay” Raelle says, sighs as her hands begin playing with the rings on her fingers.

It makes Scylla angrier that Raelle still knows her this well. That she knows Scylla is irrationally angry right now and that nothing she says will reach her. It's true, and it's so annoying, to be read so easily by someone who doesn’t deserve to know her this well. So she takes a step forward, and Raelle takes a step back. It's like they’re dancing. But soon enough Raelle is bound to hit the wall. And she does two steps later, and Scylla pounces on her like a lion on its prey.

She fails to notice until it's too late just how close they are now. A second of silence follows the realization.

Words come up in her head, so many things she wants to say. But her eyes only focus on the way Raelle licks her lips, as if preparing to say something and Scylla might lose her fucking mind today.

“Scylla” Raelle tries again, her eyes are set on Scylla’s, panic written so clearly in them. It looks like she’s considering running, but her palms are open against the wall like she’s afraid to touch her.

Scylla looks away from those treacherous eyes, down to her neck, and she inhales hard as she forces her eyes down, finally to the chain. Her fingers grip on it as she pulls it from under her shirt.

“Liar” she repeats herself as she turns the medal in her hands and looks up before even reading the words “You’re a fucking liar”

Raelle sighs, her body sags against the wall "I'm growing very tired of people callin' me a liar" she mutters, her voice trembling just a bit.

It's enough to make Scylla react. She takes a step back, and for a fraction of a second Raelle's body follows the motion like it was instinct. She catches herself though, looks everywhere but as Scylla.

"You are the black-ops aren't you?"

Raelle still won't look at her, but she takes the medal from Scylla's hands and brings it to her lips, whispering something before turning it back over Scylla palm for her to read the words.

_ U.S Witch Army. Special Forces - 62 Company Circe _

The change of the words is the proof she needed, and Raelle had no reason to do that. She could've denied it, and Scylla would have no proof of her theory. But once again she gave her the truth even if it was the last thing she wanted.

She drops the medal and looks at Raelle’s eyes searching for more answers. She finds fear instead, something Scylla is familiar with.

Big moments like this revelation, like the first time she set her face on fire to hide in a crowd and unleash chaos, it will always leave you reeling. Fear is an expected reaction.

It doesn't look right on Raelle, though. It looks foreign, but at the same time so natural. This Raelle standing here, is not the one she remembers loving and it's not the ruthless black-ops soldier she expected to find. Is somewhere in between. Kind and honest, like she remembers, but there’s an underlying sense of resignment about her now. 

Scylla thinks back to Raelle's anger upon seeing her. That wasn't there before. She didn't think of it then, but she can see it now. The world is more unfair upon closer inspection. Raelle might be an Alder, but she's a witch too. And in the time they've been apart it looks like she's been reminded of that.

Raelle takes her medal back, lets it drop back under her shirt "It isn't like you think"

"You don't know what I think" she's quick to refuse that notion, and when Raelle takes a step forward, it's Scylla's turn to take a step back.

"You think that because I have this medal I'm something else, something you don' know. You think I stand for those ideals. Compulsory conscription is slavery by another name, that hasn't change" Raelle says, tone calm despite the strong words "We're doing somethin' good"

"And what is that?" Scylla asks, her anger is back because Raelle sounds so goddamn sure and she never thought the day would come. She takes a step forward instead of back, bringing them back into each other's personal space, she takes the chain back pulling at it harshly "What good are you doing, soldier?"

Raelle groans and takes Scylla’s hand in an attempt to get her to stop tugging her medal, but she freezes and stands there holding her hand. This is the first time she's touched her in almost three years. It shouldn't feel so charged. But it does. Scylla can tell they’re getting tangled in each other's web. Raelle is fascinating, and Scylla could and has gotten lost in those eyes, in the feel of her hands on her skin. She has called this woman her home, and she can see how easy it would be to fall into that again. Despite the words exchange, Raelle’s touch is soft and reverent, like she doesn’t want to hurt her. But Scylla is reminded just as quickly that she has already hurt her. Raelle might not want to hurt her, but she has already broken her heart.

She pulls her hand free, and Raelle lets her own hand fall. 

“I am more than my name, y’know?” she says, her words as soft as her touch a second ago “I can live in a world without Alders, but I can’t live in a world where some people think that because the system is oppressive they get to unleash chaos and terror for everyone. There has to be another way, that’s the good I’m tryin' to do. The one I’m fightin' for”

She leaves in a hurry, sees her open when Scylla doesn't answer and she's out the door before Scylla can inquire what any of that means. Is like when she told Raelle about being Spree without actually saying those words. Maybe Raelle too is still trying to figure out what she was talking about, and Scylla hopes she does, because her puzzling words are going to stay with her for a while.

When she walks out of the room Raelle is gone and so is the person she came with. Izadora is standing by her own office door looking deep in thought.

Scylla hurries to gather her stuff and go home, but her boss’s voice stops as she reaches her desk.

“Ramshorn, I thought you had gone home” inquisitive eyes settle on her as if her boss is trying to decide if she overheard her private conversation.

“I was in the archive and then I…”

“You?”

Scylla thinks of what to say, she didn’t really hear what her boss was talking in her office so she could just say what’s happened, but she doesn’t feel like letting her know about her and Raelle.

“Well, I, uh, saw there was people in your office so I finished my reading in the break room, with a cup of coffee” she explains, trying to sound casual about it “The close door and hushed voices gave me the idea you might appreciate the privacy”

Izadora holds her stare for a long minute, before laughing dryly “Okay. But if you did hear-”

“I didn’t” she insists, but now that her boss is acting so strange about it she wishes she had.

“Be as it may, I’d appreciate if this remained between us”

Scylla nods “This conversation you had behind closed doors, that I didn’t hear. Yeah, I can do that”

Izadora rolls her eyes, letting on a little too much fondness for her usual stern face “Go home, Scylla”

***

In her apartment she received by Medea and the ghost of Anacostia Quartermaine’s words

_ “I have my eyes on you. Stay away” _

Does the power of the army reach Izadora’s law firm? And if so should she wait for Quartermaine to come for her?

Grabbing Raelle like that had been foolish. Scylla’s life is good. Sure her dad is walking into an alliance with Alder with his eyes wide open, but she was a mess for such a long time after Raelle and in the last years she’s gotten ahold of herself.

All is good, sounds weird but accurate, and yet she keeps pushing. Scylla’s always had an inquisitive mind, and this mystery looming over her is begging for her to untangle it and bring it into the light.

She needs to know what this is, how all the pieces fit together. She needs to keep her dad safe and her family together.

But Raelle, fuck.

Raelle and her honesty, and earnestness as she explained herself. The image is ingrained in her mind, as is the feeling of her hand in her skin that brought along so many good memories.

She always focuses on the bad. But today reminded her of the good.

That weekend in Almeria that had been Raelle’s idea after a fight they had. The fight had been because Raelle had left unannounced, disappeared for three days with her friends. It had been June for years ago, and Scylla makes a great effort to focus on their weekend together and not on how it is very likely that while she sat at home worrying Raelle had been in Barcelona kidnapping Lewis and who knows who else.

Their weekend getaway had led to many others. By the time it all fell apart they had traveled all across Europe together. Somewhere in this apartment Scylla's kept a box filled with pictures they had taken on their many trips and a ring she had never used for its intended purpose.

And how often, she forgets about these things.

_ “There has to be another way, I’m fightin' for that” _ Raelle had said, soft words despite their weighted meaning  _ “that’s the good I’m tryin' to do” _

That was what Raelle had always been about, finding other ways of doing things, better ways. She too wanted, just like Scylla, a fairer world. Maybe she wasn’t lying about that.

But the army doing a good thing? The ones oppressing witches, working against their own agenda? That is harder to believe. Scylla can’t see the likes of Vivian Alder and Petra Bellweather working against the one thing that gave them such great power.

But she can’t shake off the conviction behind Raelle’s words. She sounded truthful.

Should she believe her?

Medea comes to sit on her lap on the couch and Scylla pats her head gently.

“What you think, buddy?” she asks, rubbing the dog's ears “Should I trust what your mom has to say?”

Medea barks twice, very deliberately and Scylla laughs.

“Yeah, me too buddy” she keeps playing with the dog’s ears, trying to get control of her emotions “I know”

That’s a huge lie. Truth is Scylla has no idea what is happening, but she has an inkling that Raelle might be the key to everything.

It's all a matter of how much she wants those answers, cause Raelle has already proven to answer Scylla’s questions honestly.

She only has to be brave enough to seek her out, and Raelle will come to her.


	5. Chapter 5

She jumps out of the car as soon as its parked. Anacostia follows after her calling her name.

“I wanna be alone, Ana” she pleads, struggling to get the key on the keyhole.

Anacostia takes it from her shaking hands and opens the door.

“Raelle” she tries again, but Raelle ignores her.

She drops her suit jacket in the back of a chair and rolls up her shirt sleeves.

“You’re going to ruin your clothes” Anacostia tries again. She sounds calmer this time, like she’s no longer trying to stop her.

It has its desired effect, Raelle stops fidgeting with the tools and turns to face her. 

Anacostia is the closest thing she’s had to a parent since her parents died. She’s a bit like an older sister too, having been raised by her aunt Sarah since childhood, she has spent the past ten years running around making sure Raelle is safe and protected. If she and aunt Sarah are family, it's all because of Anacostia.

She opens her mouth to speak and gets a mouthful of her dark blue coveralls with the shop's logo in neon green.

“Thanks,” she mutters and moves to the office to change.

When she comes out a few minutes later she finds Anacostia, she’s removed her jacket and is looking at the only car currently in the shop with curiosity.

“So what’s the deal with this one?” she asks, looking around as if trying to figure out what’s wrong.

Raelle surprises herself by laughing. It’s oddly relieving to laugh after the day she’s had. She joins Anacostia by the car and lifts the hood, pointing to the very obvious missing piece “ ‘s got no engine”

Anacostia chuckles “Yeah, that sounds like it would be a problem” she moves to let her pass, and ends up sitting in the chair Raelle had dropped her suit jacket on earlier “So how’s business?”

“Well my other job, the one I don’ have, it's been takin’ a lot of my time lately” she comments dryly, Anacostia laughs and she rolls her eyes “But even before that, I don’ know Ana, aunt Sarah might have put on some Work on here ‘cause business ain’ bloomin’”

Anacostia nods, and doesn’t say anything else. Raelle focuses on the engine she’s been working on for the past couple of months. She likes working here, even if no one ever shows up. This is her safe space, the one place aunt Sarah will never set foot on.

It reminds her of home too, of summer afternoons spent with her pop in the garage as he taught her everything he knew about cars and engines, and of her mama rolling her eyes at the pair of them and sending them to wash themselves before they were allowed anywhere near food.

Sometimes her mama would join them in the garage, she’d pretend to be listening only to get her hands filled with car grease and chase Raelle around the frontyard to get her face painted. It was many years later she learned it wasn’t actual car grease what her mother used to paint her face, but simple face paint from her halloween costumes that she kepts aound for this reason. 

“Sarah’s weird, but I don’t think she’s weird like that” Anacostia tells her after a while, and just like that they pick up the earlier conversation as if they had never dropped it.

Raelle looks up from her work with a quirked eyebrow and says nothing. Anacostia laughs, shakes her head a little.

“I’m just saying, kid. She wants you here, close to her. Stopping people from coming to the shop would be counterproductive to you staying” Anacostia says, it's a well thought out argument, but they both have known aunt Sarah long enough to know she’s been known to defy logic before.

“I think she prefers me workin’ with you and the others”

Anacostia nods, her previous amused expression turns serious “You’re good at it. And a witch will always be safer among its own kind”

“I’m only a half-witch” she replies dryly, and can tell Anacostia is rolling her eyes without even looking. But she’s not, when Raelle turns to her to ask about her silence, she finds her looking at her with worry.

“What is going on with you?”

Raelle shrugs “Its the truth”

“And you’re all about the truth now?” Anacostia asks, leans in on the chair as if she could hear her better that way. She looks curious for her answer. 

“I…” how does she even begin to explain where this is coming from without bringing up all her conversations with Scylla? Without saying that she can’t seem to keep a secret from her? All it takes is one look from Scylla and she’ll answer all her questions, say whatever she has to let her know she’s not a liar, she’s not bad. She is not an Alder “We should be about the truth, Ana”

Anacostia looks like she can tell there’s more but doesn’t mention it, they all are after all, entitled to their secrets “The world is not as it should be, Raelle” she reminds her softly, like she’s afraid for her, “Some lies are necessary. Our job is important”

There it is again, the secrets, the things they both know but won’t say out loud. Like she had told Scylla all those years ago. Half truths, half lies until one day she couldn’t tell them apart. She doesn’t wanna be that person anymore. 

“The job I don’ have?” she stands, squaring up as if she was going to fight Anacostia for a truth they both know can’t be said out loud.

“Calm down, kid” Anacostia warns her, says without saying that there’s eyes and ears everywhere “Our job is important”

Raelle sighs, her shoulders falling. But she follows the silent command “Our job is important, Ana”

“Good” Anacostia says, but her face, her body language they all say the opposite “I’ll call you”

“I’ll be waitin’”

Anacostia leaves after that. Reassured that Raelle won’t do something stupid like starting a revolution. Raelle thinks Anacostia will go home and drink bourbon until she can no longer think about her troubles, until she forgets Izadora’s face of anger and her harsh words. That's kind of her plan too, drink cheap beer from her fridge until she can no longer feel Scylla’s touch and hear the echoes of her words inside her head.

She goes back to her work, focusing on the task at hand to keep everything else at bay. It works, and she’s so relieved it does. She was beginning to feel that dreaded sense of overwhelmness when she left the office, but she feels calmer now, strong enough to keep herself together a little bit longer. 

***

Libba calls her in the evening. She’s still tinkering with the engine and nowhere near done when the phone rings, but as she picks it up she looks out the window to see it's almost dark outside. It all comes back in a minute. It's like the tools were keeping her in check and now that she’s put them down, the storm is picking up speed.

Scylla. 

This is all because of her. 

Why is it that she’s known of her for the first time in years just a few days ago and now she can’t go a day without her being around in some way? 

So Libba calling is a welcome distraction.

“I tried calling your place but had no luck” Libba says, tone casual and playful cause she doesn't know about the storm inside Raelle “I figured I’d try the shop. I heard around I almost got sent to Bellweather the older”

Raelle nods, even if the other witch can’t see her. She’s known Libba for so long now that it's easy to let the mindless chatter she knows ease her into calmness "Turns out I like you better than Treefine"

“Don’t I know it” Libba sounds just as cocky as Raelle imagined she would. The familiarity of it grounds her. “But if you need a reminder-”

This is easy. She can do this. Raelle scoffs in mock offense, and Libba laughs.

“Well I’m free tonight” she says after a minute, looking around the shop to locate her things “My place?”

Libba chuckles appreciatively, she always had a thing for Raelle’s brazenness “Yeah, I’ll be there around ten. Have some wine ready”

She ends the call and goes back to putting things in their places before closing for the day.

When she gets home she puts the paperwork away. Aunt Sarah will be so mad when she eventually stops by to check on her, but right now she can’t deal with it. And by the time Libba knocks on her door she’s already had two glasses of wine, and finds she doesn’t care much at all.

“I see you’ve had the wine already” Libba comments casually, she moves past Raelle into the small apartament and drops her bag on the couch “Are you going to make use of that infamous cession charm on me and pour me some wine or what?”

Raelle reacts immediately, closing the door behind her and crossing the distance to the open kitchen to pour Libba a glass of wine “I snatched this one from my aunt’s cellar last night”

Libba takes a sip, a frown in her eyebrows as she decides if it's good or not. She nods after a second “I’ll give it a nine. Good job, Collar”

She sighs, beginning to relax into this dance she knows, and she smiles too, cause Libba called her Collar, and all she heard this past few days is Alder.

Alder, Alder, Alder, all the damn time.

Raelle just wants to be a Collar. She misses her life back in the Cession, when her parents were alive and she had a home. She had peace. She misses that the most.

“I appreciate the approval, Swythe,” she tells her, trying to get a grip of this feeling of existential dread and push it away, and Libba makes a face.

“So formal, want to call me major too next time?” she asks “Should I call first daughter, then?”

Raelle puts her glass down, and debates pouring herself a... a fourth glass. Libba comes to put her glass next to hers and takes her hand, beginning to tug her towards her room.

“C’mon. No more wine for you, ‘cause if you fall asleep I swear to the goddess Raelle-”

“It was only one time” she replies “Unlike some people.” The joke is easy, but there’s something off today.

Libba stops them in the middle of the halway “If I wasn’t invested in this thing” she grabs the buckle of Raelle’s belt for emphasis “I’d leave you alone to simmer in your shit”

Raelle’s known Libba long enough to she’s all talk, no bite, and she would literally die if she was left alone right now. Just not for the reasons Libba thinks.

“Y’know, Swythe...” she opens the door and tugs Libba in “I didn’ invite you over just to have you look pretty over wine”

“I’m not pretty, I’m fucking hot” Libba scoffs again, but she’s smirking “I’m a goddamn queen, Raelle Collar, and you’re lucky to bask in my beauty”

Raelle laughs, and before she can say something she’s pushed into the bed.

***

Libba joins her on the balcony. She has the wine bottle from before in one hand and the two glasses in the other.

"I'm sorry" Raelle says quickly "I-"

“You got a lot in your head” Libba shrugs, as she pours the wine. She puts the bottle down and lights a cigarette looking out to the city below “Want to talk about it?”

“Not really” she turns her attention to the other witch as she exhales the smoke into the night “I just...need to get out of my head for a bit. It's been a couple crazy days”

Libba nods, and doesn’t say anything else. The thing about this unspoken arrangement between them is that it was born of a mutual understanding of who the other one was. So Libba treats Raelle like an actual person rather than a name, and Raelle offers Libba a place where she doesn’t have to compete to be better than anybody else.

They are...friends.

It's fun to think that they’re friends considering where they were many years ago. Raelle being Abigail’s friend first means they got into too many fights throughout their lives where they were on opposite sides. But time made Abigail and Libba’s feud softer, until it turned into a reluctant allyship, that it's really just a very competitive friendship with lots of sarcastic and rude comments on each other's personal lives.

And they were all brought back together by Circe Company, another one of aunt Sarah’s ambitious projects. It’s a good thing she didn’t keep an eye on them, trusting both Raelle and Anacostia to do what she put them up to, because they are pretending to do that, while simultaneously doing the opposite thing. The work is hard regardless. When you’re a witch it seems it always is.

That is how she and Libba came to this...arrangement. It's the job they do. It's hard to keep everything bottled inside. And sure they have their friends and the rest of the team. But this thing between them, it works well enough that it has kept going.

“Wanna go back to bed then?” Libba says after a while, her eyebrows raised in a playful manner.

Any other night she wouldn't have to ask. But she's right that Raelle's head was elsewhere today, it's why she’s asking instead of taking.

"I think I wanna stay here for a bit," she whispers, eyes firm in the night sky. Another thing about Libba is that she doesn’t run away when Raelle is vulnerable. She sticks around, like Raelle did for her when her mother died, even if all she wanted to do was cry cause her heart was broken. Maybe this thing between them started then, when they both were hurting and leaned on each other, maybe that's where the trust comes from to be open and unafraid when in her presence. 

"Ok. Want company? I'll even share" Libba offers her the cigarette she just light, That’s the second one.

Raelle takes it from her hands, like this is a thing they do "I liked the ones we had in Amsterdam better"

Libba laughs, takes the cigarette from between Raelle's lips "Didn't we all? It's a shame your aunt can smell them from a mile away and hates it. But it was a fun time we had in Amsterdam"

She's talking about the time they went as her aunts guards to a meeting in The Hague, and when it was over they were given three days off before they had to return to the States. It was back in the first days of Circe, when they were still trying to figure out what they were meant to do. Tally and Abigail had been there too, and few others. She thinks Glory, and maybe Byron.

But Raelle is thinking of Scylla. Of that weekend they spent exploring the old city streets.

_"Anyone can come here and smoke a joint, visit the red district. I want to see beyond it. The culture, the people, I want to know what makes someone come here and stay"_ Scylla had said as they walked the streets hand in hand, a wide smile on her lips as she took it all in.

Raelle had been transfixed by the passion in her words. By the passion with which Scylla did everything.

“I had been to Amsterdam before” she finds herself saying, Libba tilts her head to get a better look of her, but remains quiet “ ‘twas maybe five years ago. I was still in school, and with Scylla”

Libba nods knowingly “Is she the reason why you are like this? Is she back?”

“That’s a hard one to answer, honestly” she sighs, and brings herself to look back at Libba. They have spoken of Scylla a few times, the first time because Abigail had brought her up in front of the team, and since then occasionally. Oddly enough it's Libba who knows everything about that relationship and not Abigail or Tally. “I swore I was through with her when it was all over, y’know? But now that she’s back in my life, I can feel myself bein’ dragged into her flame”

“What does that mean?” Libba asks, amusement coating her words. She passes the cigarette back, but Raelle waves it away.

“I don’t know” and it's true, what does she mean with those words? She has a feeling only Scylla can help her sort this out, help her get...closure. That’s got to be it ”She is, well was, such a huge part of my life and I never got a proper endin’, I guess that’s what”

Libba laughs, shakes her head “Or maybe you’re just in love with her, Rae. Have you thought about that?”

Raelle takes a step away from the railing, rips the cigarette from Libba’s lips and takes a long drag, mostly to do something while she tries to think of a convincing way to shut down that idea “No. Nah, that’s not it"

Libba looks like she doesn’t believe her, but is nice enough to drop the subject "Am I supposed to leave you here wallowing?" she asks instead.

"Please don't" and maybe she lets on more than she intends to, ‘cause Libba’s eyes soften.

"Fine, I'll play nice" Raelle snorts, feels the heaviness in her chest slowly ebbing away. Libba rolls her eyes at her and turns to go back inside “The good wine still on the top shelf behind those old books from your aunt?”

Raelle lets out a choked up laugh and nods, “You weren’t supposed to know that”

Libba ignores her comment “I’ll be right back”

They spend the remainder of the night drinking wine and passing the cigarettes around. They talk from time to time, of anything that comes to mind and it's so easy and good that Raelle doesn’t want it to end.

She knows her mind will hyperfixate on Scylla as soon as Libba goes. She will be swallowed into the deep waters. Scylla is like a siren and she can’t bring herself to look away. 

They fall asleep sitting on the couch and it might be the best sleep she had since returning from The Hague. Even when she wakes up, with a pillow thrown in her head she smiles. It's still dark outside, there’s a soft breeze making her unbraided hair dance wildly and she feels surprisingly calm and centered. 

Libba is staring at her from the open doors of the balcony, a smirk on her lips.

“Anacostia called a meeting, just Glory, Byron and me” she sits down on the couch lazily, even though she just said she has to go “She didn’t say much, I guess she’ll debrief us in the meeting, but we’re going to Spain”

A mission in Spain. Don’t think too hard about it, she tells herself. Don’t think of her, or her words, or anything else. 

Raelle nods shaking her thought away and steals the mug from Libba’s hands “Thanks for the coffee”

Libba rolls her eyes “Go ahead, Collar, already spit on it”

“Gross” she drinks it anyway making the other witch laugh “Hopefully you won’t be gone for too long”

“You saying you’ll miss me?” Libba asks, lifting an eyebrow “Don’t let Bellweather hear”

“I thought you had to go”

Finally Libba stands from the couch and reclaims her mug “I’ll go now. You’ll be okay?”

That’s another hard one to answer, but she appreciates Libba looking out for her “Yeah, I’ll just go to Abigail”

Libba groans and turns to leave. Raelle follows after her and stops her as she’s opening the door.

“I, uh...thank you for not bein’ weird about last night” she says, whispers it really even if it's just the two of them.

She gets another shrug from Libba “I told you already it’s fine. Weird day, weird week whatever, better drinking fancy wine with you than alone at home”

Raelle laughs, she can always appreciate the weird way Libba has of being considerate “I’m always up for drinkin’ my aunt’s fancy wine”

“Just that?”

The question surprises her, and the look on Libba’s face does the same. They never actually spoke about it before they started sleeping together, it kind of just happened, and now it seems like maybe it's ending too, in the same way.

“What are you sayin’?” she asks cautiously.

“Nothing yet” Libba tells her, puts on a smile that is not quite right and winks “See you around, Collar”

Raelle watches her walk away and closes the door.

What a fucking mess.

She looks around the room thinking of cleaning up, but as she does it her eyes land on her suit jacket thrown on the couch and her mind goes immediately to Scylla.

She goes to bed instead, and tells herself this is something she can sleep off.

It is not.

With Libba gone there's no distraction, no barrier from her most deep repressed memories. She dreams of Scylla, of her hands and her lips, of her beautiful cocky smiles when she did something so, so well and she just knew it.

She wakes up startled, and it hurts.

The sun entering from her opened windows is harsh and everything hurts, but is better than her dreams. She gets out of bed and goes through the day slowly, it's late anyways and she doesn’t really have anything to do unless her aunt calls her.

Abigail’s flight must have landed already, and maybe she should call and ask about stupid mundane stuff, suggest going out to eat with Tally like they always do. She tells herself she’ll do it tomorrow, she needs today to work herself out of this Scylla shaped hole and she’ll be back to normal. 

She finds herself in the shop again in the afternoon, music blasting from the stereo so she can’t focus on anything other than the engine she’s got her hands into.

Tally would say she’s being unhealthy, and most of the time she tries to be good for her friend and maybe follow some of her advice, but today she can’t be bothered to try. 

Scylla always managed to get under her skin and inside her head. She’s always been one of those people you can’t get out of your head and here she is again, proving that hasn’t changed. 

She looks up from her work and finds the woman in question standing by the open doors of the shop and when she notices Raelle has caught her she quickly looks away.

Raelle puts her tools down and cleans her hands quickly. She can feel Scylla’s eyes on her as she moves.

“Hi” Scylla says nervously, and Raelle finally notices she has Medea with her.

"How'd you find me?" Raelle asks, kneeling by the dog to greet her and rubs her ears playfully.

The ears are soft, like when Medea was a puppy and she brought her home as a surprise.

Scylla shows her the newspaper she’s holding, marked with a red marker is the advertisement she pays monthly for.

It's a pretty thing Byron designed for her on the flight back from a mission. The rest of the team had jumped in to add in more details, Glory and Tally had tried to put some hearts, but their idea didn’t make it very far. Instead there was a hidden T and G somewhere in the background.

"Right," she says, her eyes never leave Medea.

"I want to talk" Scylla sounds unsure "I brought Medea along cause I figured I'd stood a better chance of not getting rejected that way"

"Smart thinkin’" she comments as she rubs the dogs ears.

"So can we?"

Raelle sighs, this is what she wanted isn’t it? "Okay, let's talk"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed it! :)
> 
> hit me up on tumblr @realbluedragon


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter. Its got some changed too, Iit was kinda messy the firt time around so i fixed it  
> Hope you enjoy it!  
> Have a good weekend

No. This is bad.

What is she going to say if Raelle asks all the right questions?

She came here searching for Raelle’s honesty, but can she offer the same in return?

This was a very bad idea.

But she still doesn’t move. Her feet are stuck to the floor and her eyes on the shape of Raelle bend over the engine.

She hasn’t seen her yet, and Scylla takes advantage of it. She always loved the way Raelle would get lost in the things she loved, engines, watching her favourite team play, her.

It's hard to be mad at her when she remembers how those three years were. It's hard to believe Raelle is everything the Alders are when she looks like this. When Scylla has known her to be different.

Medea might just get all the cookies when they get home for not barking the moment they stopped here, Scylla’s not sure the music Raelle is blasting through the shop would stop their very attention loving dog from making herself be heard if she wanted to.

But this is her chance to flee. Raelle has not seen her yet, she can go, she should go. 

But then some of Raelle’s hair falls over her eyes, and Scylla watches in both amusement and dread because she knows just as Raelle does it that she will use her dirty hand to fix her hair and that will just be a mess.

Raelle looks up then, and her hands fall down barely missing her hair. Scylla’s relief lasts only an instant before she curses and looks away. 

But it's too late to run now, she’s been caught.

She goes through the conversation in autopilot and somehow she ends up convincing Raelle to talk.

It was most likely Medea and not her who convinced Raelle, but she rolls with it.

“You wanna do this here?” Raelle asks. She’s nervously playing with her hands.

“I, uh...yeah?”

Off to a great start. It's a good thing they both are so terribly nervous about this, because if it was just her, Scylla would’ve found a way to disappear.

“Ok, let’s sit down” Raelle points to the chair and the couch, and waits for Scylla to choose.

Scylla takes the couch nervously “I know it was my idea, but I don’t know how to start”

Raelle tilts her head to the side as she thinks over her answer, she looks firmly at her when she speaks again “What happened yesterday, at Izadora's office, what was that?”

“That…” Fuck. How does she even begin to explain half of what happened yesterday? “I’m sorry about that, I...I got carried away. I’m working a case, a woman named Lewis” she holds a bit, to see if Raelle will react but nothing happens “She’s been in exile since she was eighteen. We’ve been trying to get her back in the country for a while now. It’s been a tough process, but we finally managed to get a request over to the Ministry of Defense to allow her to reenter with a dispensation, so she wouldn’t be prosecuted, it was denied yesterday morning”

“I’m sorry” Raelle says, her words honest despite her confused expression “But I don’-”

This is the part she doesn’t want to hear. She didn’t came here for Raelle to lie “When Izadora called her, Lewis had a very interesting story about being kidnaped by a group of witches in Barcelona, in june four years ago”

She lets it hang in there, wants Raelle to get to the same conclusion she did on her own. Some sick part of her wants to see the mask fall, see Raelle turn into the monster she might as well be. But an even deeper part of her, a part she’s never learned to quiet down, keeps saying it won't happen.

Raelle is not a monster, even if that would make everything easier.

Raelle finally sighs, acknowledging that there’s something there to be said. Medea leaves Scylla to sit down at Raelle’s feet and supports her head on her legs to comfort her. It almost makes Scylla smile.

“You think it was me,” Raelle says, stopping the smile before it even shows up, Scylla looks up from the dog, hoping to find denial in the tip of Raelle’s tongue, in her posture, anywhere. She doesn’t find any.

“Was it you?” she asks, she wants to leave no room for doubts or half lies “Did you kidnaped Lewis in her home and took her to Quartermaine to be interrogated?”

Medea whimpers as if sensing the tension rising, Raelle rubs her head slowly to calm her down “It’s okay, girl” she looks up at Scylla then, some of the softness for Medea is still in her eyes and it makes what she’s about to say so much more heartbreaking “Yes”

Even if she knew what the answer was all along, the actual confirmation hurts. 

“Why?” the words leave her mouth in a whisper. 

"Why did you leave?” Raelle asks instead, and the words freeze her in place. 

This is the moment of truth, isn’t it?

“It’s, uh, it was many things I suppose. Some was you, but some of it was me” she says, and Raelle nods, encouraging her to continue. Something about her openness, and lack of hostility makes Scylla want to tell her the whole truth repercussions be damned. But she doesn’t, she stays quiet like a coward. 

“What does that mean?” Raelle insists, and there’s an underlying anger in her words. It reminds Scylla of why they are here, of everything that has happened. 

She calls Medea instead of answering, and the dog goes back to her happily waving her tail as she goes.

"I...I was Spree" 

The minute the words leave her mouth she feels relief, the crushing guilt hits her a second later. There is no going back, and she already misses the old world.

Raelle sits up straighter, liks her lips, crosses her arms, then uncrosses them again. She seems to be in a battle with herself, and a million miles away. 

“What you mean you were Spree?” she asks, voice strained. 

Scylla sighs, she really doesn’t want to say it again “You were black-ops, and I was Spree”

Raelle nods, stares into nothingness for a long minute that seems to stretch through all of eternity as Scylla waits. Her eyes land on Medea, and the place where Scylla’s hands are holding onto the dog like she will die if Medea escapes.

“Are you usin’ Medea as a shield?” she asks, raising an eyebrow in question.

The absurdity of the accusation makes her laugh, and Raelle watches it happen. Scylla can’t quite tell why her eyes are shining. 

“I’m not” she says, clearing her throat, trying to get rid of the amusement in her voice. She released her grip on Medea, but the dog doesn’t move “I am...not afraid of you”

"You should be” Raelle says, “I could tell everyone what you just told me. You'd go to prison" Despite the strong words and the tense posture, her eyes are glued to Scylla like she can’t stop looking. 

"I know” Scylls says resigned “But...my first instinct has always been to trust you and I don’t think that has changed"

"So was mine” Raelle says, words cold, but her expression of hurt is what gets to Scylla, the way her words crack as she keeps talking “But it turns out you were friends with the people who killed my parents"

The Spree didn't kill her parents, Scylla knows that with almost absolute certainty. But if she were to say it not even Medea would be a shield enough. She knows there’s anger within Raelle, she has not seen it but she’s gotten close enough to see the fire in her eyes and feel the thunder in her voice. 

But doesn’t Raelle deserve the truth?

“Raelle, I...I don’t think the Spree killed your parents”

Medea leaves her side in a hurry, climbs atop Raelle’s lap, hiding her fuzzy head in her neck.

Raelle nods silently, she lets out a shaky breath as she lies back down in her seat. 

“I’m sorry, I-”

"Don’ say anythin’ ” Raelle cuts her off, her voice sounds tired, and she looks tired too. After a long few minutes of silence Raelle speaks again, she sounds calm but Scylla can tell it's a facade “Everyone knows-”

"I was Spree, Raelle” she cuts her off before she can even begin making up excuses “I know these people, they're ruthless and effective, and they're cocky bastards too. Don't you think it's odd they never took responsibility for having killed an Alder?”

It shuts Raelle off for the longest time. It's weirdly effective to throw the name at her, but it doesn't feel nearly as satisfying as she thought it would.

“The name is meaningless. She was my mum, and they took her from me, my pop too” Raelle’s eyes are red with unshed tears when she looks up again, but she doesn’t let them fall.

She can't really be that naive, Scylla would laugh if it was anyone else, right now she has to resist the urge to reach out "Her name is the most important thing, it means everything and you know that. A name like Alder will always mean everything. If I had known who you were I would have done things different"

"How?” Raelle asks, words hard. It's obvious she’s going for anger, but it doesn’t feel like it's directed at her personally, but simply at the things coming out of her mouth. She’s more curious than angry when she asks her next question “What could you have done differently?"

It's an opportunity to move this conversation down a safer path, and Raelle seems like she did that on purpose. 

“I wouldn't have gone after you in that bar” Scylla replies, trying to keep her cool. Cause the choice of a safer path is in her hands now and she’s never been good with power “I’m supposed to hate you. I hated you when I didn’t know you. You are an Alder, you’re everything I hate-”

“Why?” Raelle asks, it brings Scylla’s mind to a screeching halt.

“All of witchkind are slaves, Raelle. We live in hiding. I grew up in hiding, terrified of being discovered, of being sent to my death cause I was a witch” is not anger in her voice this time, is determination. This she knows, this was her life and of so many others too “You are an Alder, I don’t expect you to understand. You’re free to be a witch in the light, you get to be you. But your freedom was bought with blood. My family’s blood and so many others that your ancestors sold for their freedom. For your freedom"

“I’m not like them” Raelle says slowly, like that is the problem "I'm not-"

“I know” Scylla cuts her off, it surprises her that she’s sure of what Raelle was going to say “You weren’t what I expected. But they set me up, set us up. They sent me to that bar, everything, it has to have been planned. They told me the truth one day years later, one of those times I was away on business. They wanted me to kill you"

“Is that why you left?” Raelle asks, her eyes search Scylla’s for an answer she knows won’t come out on actual words "I don't think a terrorist organization would let you go just cause you asked nicely after refusing to kill your mark"

Raelle is not being intentionally mean, Scylla knows it. She’s being rational. This is how the army trained her to think, hell maybe this is Vivian Alder’s doing. But Raelle’s logic hurts ‘cause she is right.

Her freedom came with a heavy price. Just like the blood of thousands bought Raelle’s freedom, the blood of two bought Scylla’s.

"I didn’t-" her voice trembles, and she has to stop. Medea runs to her, jumping in her lap and Raelle watches it all happen with an off expression. Scylla tries to recover, even though it might be too late. She let her see too much "I didn't say they let me go nicely"

“Ok” Raelle looks like she knows better than to push.

They stay in silence for a long while after that. She came here for answers, they both did, but they stay for the silence too. Raelle could get up and go back to work, maybe she should and Scylla could slip away unnoticed. Wait for when Raelle gets too into her work, and the music blasting will cover the sound of her picking the fucking pieces of herself from the floor. 

She let her see too much. 

Raelle sounds calm when she speaks again, and Scylla doesn’t know if Raelle’s doing it for her, or for her own benefit but she’s thankful either way. 

"Look, Scylla I'll admit I should’ve told you about my aunt, but all my life I…I wasn' an Alder until they died. Ever since I took her name people have had two reactions to findin’ out who I am, pity or hate. I didn' want those things from you, I wanted to just be me and for it to not be complicated. I was wrong to not tell you, but we can't change that. I meant what I said about your father, he shouldn' trust my aunt. I will protect your secret, ‘cause is not my truth to tell, and even if it was I-” she falters, her strong speech falls in an instant and its replaced by an honest expression that looks more like the Raelle she loved than anything she’s seen so far “I’ll always protect you”

"Why?"she asks. Her grip on Medea loosens and the dog escapes her grasp, but instead of running to Raelle, she stops in the middle of the space between them and lies down.

"Because it's you. I...don’ know how else to explain it. I loved you” she looks up then, there’s no anger to her eyes, just honesty. “I’m over the hurt and all I’m left with is the memories” she looks down at Medea taking her nap right in the middle of them and smiles “I don' know how much of our relationship was real to you, all of it was to me. I loved you, Scylla. And because of that I will always look out for you"

It's a lot. She will need days to digest her words, but she needs a way out of this conversation soon. Her eyes land on the dog and she smiles "And for Medea"

Raelle laughs, is this the first time she's hearing it? "And for Medea of course, she needs her two moms. Don’ you girl?"

Their attention loving dog jumps at the chance, throwing herself happily on Raelle’s lap, and for a couple of minutes Scylla takes in the scene in silence.

She’s been so busy being mad this past few years, this past few days, that she forgot why she love Raelle in the first place. In the few occasions that she did remember, the memory of their love was tainted by the knowledge of the lies. But it feels different now, to think about it and to remember, it's like she can see the whole picture, she can see the lies and still believe it all to be real. 

Looking at Raelle playing with Medea, hearing her say she’ll protect her and declaring their love was real, Scylla thinks she was so wrong about everything three years ago. She should have stayed, she should have said something and maybe now they wouldn’t be here.

Their lives have taken a turn since they walked into each other's lives again, it's like they unknowingly set in motion something they weren’t aware was even there, but they are here now and something is coming. 

But looking at her now she knows she would give anything to have her like she used to. To have Raelle be her partner in crime.

Would it still be the same if they were? Would Raelle be the same? Or has her work in black-ops changed her in ways Scylla can't yet see?

“Can I ask one more question?” she asks, suddenly curious.

Raelle looks away from Medea, eyes shining with love for the dog, and Scylla has to look away just barely catching the nod

“Why did you take Lewis to Quartermaine? Is that what you do in Circe? How you make a change for the better?"

Raelle sits back down, thinking over her answer. Scylla notes it not for the first time. 

She always said Raelle was too impulsive, where Scylla was more thoughtful in her actions, or at least tried to be. It got them into so many fights when they were together, but looking at her now she wonders how much of the reckless girl she remembers is still in the woman standing in front of her now. 

“I suppose we’re goin’ with the truth here” Raelle says, a small smile on her lips “Lewis is Spree. Circe deals with the Spree in a different way than the regular army, we observe them, and gather intel, learn from them too I guess. To do that we need an inside person. Lewis is that for us, she just doesn’ know it”

Scylla never would’ve guessed the army, Vivian Alder and General Bellweather, would come up with such a well thought out plan that didn’t involve violence or an inordinate amount of Work. She’s certainly intrigued.

“How do you procure the people?” she asks intrigued “How do you find them?”

Now Raelle seems reluctant to tell her, but after a minute she sighs and speaks again “There’s two ways, the Fort Salem ledger has the names of all matrilines, so we know who all the dodgers are. For the few ones who managed to slip past the it we have other means”

“Which are?” she insists.

Medea stirs, looking between the two of them letting out a whine.

Raelle laughs calling the dog over to her, maybe she’ll use Medea as a shield now. It looks like she’s readying herself for her own revelation “Draft dodgers are eighteen year olds runnin’ away, leavin’ home for the first time. They find each other, form communities and settle into them. After some time they get sick of runnin’, they wanna go back home, and who do they call when you wanna get back to the country?” 

Scylla gapes. Izadora. She’s talking about Izadora. Holy shit, she’s part of it, Scylla herself is part of it.

“No. It can’t be...”

Raelle holds for a minute, observing carefully before nodding “Sorry”

“How did they never find me out?” she asks again, even though she thinks she already knows the answer. Raelle is telling her everything, she has to take advantage of this chance.

“You weren’t a regular dodger. You completed your trainin’ in Sweden and were movin’ ‘round Europe with a swedish passport. It didn’ take too much to keep ya in the down-low” Raelle explains “And Circe was just begginin’ then. Lewis we knew to be threat, she and her cell were plannin’ an attack in Madrid that we prevented from happenin’, we did the same with hundreds of other attacks”

"You kept me away from danger"

"I did" Raelle nods, something solemn to her face.

Scylla believes her. It makes too much sense, and Raelle has always been honest to a fault. Even when explaining why she lied by omission about being an Alder she makes sense.

The one thing bothering her now is Izadora.

“Izadora didn’t know ” she realizes it so as she says it. Izadora was as intrigued by Lewis’s story as she was, and after Scylla’s comments she must have reached the same conclusion. The witches Lewis talked about where Raelle and her friends. 

“No, she didn’ know” Raelle breaks her out of her thoughts, and there’s an amused smile in her lips that confuses Scylla until she speaks again “I don’ know how she found out, but that’s why she called us over yesterday. She was so pissed with Ana, I thought she was gonna kick her ass right there. They have a weird thing goin’ on, but I had never seen Iza so mad”

Iza. Ana. Scylla feels like she’s entered into the unknown dimension. Has Raelle always been a part of her world and she never noticed? Have they been going in circles around each other’s lives all this time? Living in the same city, knowing the same people and yet never crossed paths until now?

She stands up abruptly “I should go”

“Oh, okay” Raelle stands up too, looking a little lost. 

Medea walks between them trying to get their attention as they walk outside the shop. It’s dark outside and Raelle looks around in search of something.

“Did you walk here?” she asks.

Scylla nods, just barely hearing her “Yeah, it was nice weather to walk”

“Well it's dark now, you shouldn’ walk alone this late. It's dangerous” Raelle tells her, searching her overalls pockets for something “Let me drive you home”

“I’m a witch, Raelle. I think I can defend myself” she points out. After the conversation they have, she could use some alone time. 

Raelle shakes her head, finally finds her car keys and shows them to her “Usin’ work will get you into trouble and you know that. Give a minute to close and I’ll drive you home, at least for Medea”

Scylla huffs a laugh. For Medea she can accept that “Okay”

***

She doesn’t know what she expects the trip to be like, but Raelle keeps to herself.

They always were in tune with each other, and she certainly needs the silence now, but she can't help but notice Raelle is nervous. She keeps tapping her fingers on the steering wheel every couple of seconds. It's annoying.

She's not used to making Raelle nervous. Not like this anyways.

"What is it?" she asks, letting out a long, suffering sigh.

"Nothin" Raelle answers too fast.

"Just out with it" she insist "I know something is bothering you"

Raelle sighs, and she turns to Scylla when they stop at a red light “Why did you join the Spree?”

Scylla shrugs “The world’s unfair, I wanted to make it better”

It's been long enough since it all happened that she can analyze it logically. She can see how she went wrong about it, but her reasons remain as true now as she felt them back then.

Raelle nods, like she knows exactly what Scylla means. Scylla lifts an eyebrow in question.

“I just understood what you meant, that time we talked in my aunt’s house. When I asked you if you were sorry about how things ended. You said you couldn’ ‘cause you thought you were doin’ the right thing and even though you later realized you were wrong you were who you were because of it” Raelle speaks her words back to her “You were talkin’ ‘bout bein’ Spree”

Scylla chastises herself for having said that. It had been so stupid. But she’s also surprised Raelle remebers. 

“I get it though” Raelle adds not a minute later, and she looks like she does “When my aunt spoke to me about Circe, it made sense. The Spree killed my parents, I wanted to make ‘em pay. I wanted retribution. They were the bad guys, and we weren’ necessarily good, but I believed we were right”

“And now?” she asks, curious as to how Raelle justifies her work to herself. 

“Circe is my family. I will always protect ‘em, and Khalida, I want to make the world fairer for her” Raelle says, her smile grows at the mention of her sister “It helps that since she became vice president my aunt passed full control of Circe to Ana. She and I made some changes on how we go about things. It’s still not perfect, but it's better. It's hard work but someone has to do it. That I believe”

“I never had that much power to change how the Spree operated,” she says slowly. She never thought how she would change it if she could.

“But you found your own way to make things right. With Izadora” Raelle reminds her softly as she parks the car in front of Scylla’s building “I admire the work that you do”

“Me too” she says dryly as she unbuckles her seat belt. She needs to reevaluate her work with the new information. 

Raelle doesn’t answer. She watches her go, take Medea from the back seat and turn away from her.

“Goodnight Scylla” she calls after her.

Scylla turns, there’s so much she wants to say “Goodnight” she decides to say simply. But she changes her mind last minute, and Raelle seems to have sense it, she still there, waiting “I’m glad we talked”

“Me too” Raelle smiles, and maybe when she smiles, this time it's directed at her “I’ll see you around”

Scylla doesn’t doubt they will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up on tumblr @realbluedragon


End file.
